SIGNS SOMEONE IS AN OBAMA SUPPORTER
* Blank stare.
* Unable to communicate complex thoughts.
* Fits of excitement followed by bouts of depression with no noticeable causes.
* Easily distracted by anything that is shiny or new.
* Defines political beliefs with vague, trite phrases.
* Irrational risk taking with finances.
* Submissive urination.
* Stupidity.
* Hates crackers.
If you realize someone is an Obama supporter, make sure to give him or her a new, shiny red ball to play with on election day. The person may be so distracted by the ball, he'll forget to vote, or become so enamored with the ball that'll he'll vote for the ball instead as a write-in.
ROFLMAO!!!!!!
Critics say that Presidential candidate Barack Obama tries to "be all things to all people" and that he makes too many "pie-in-the-sky" promises. At a recent political rally, Obama tried to overcome these criticisms by emphasizing his commitment to principles. Afterwards, audience members lined up at a microphone to ask Obama questions.
The first person at the microphone said, "I oppose the war in Iraq. If you are elected, what will you do about that?"
"I will end the war in Iraq within two weeks of taking office," answered Obama. "All our troops will come home, and I will simultaneously make sure the Iraqi government is functioning and secure."
The second person in line said, "I'm an illegal alien. What will you do for people like me?"
"If I am elected," answered Obama, "every illegal alien will receive U.S. citizenship, free health coverage, and a scholarship to the university of your choice."
The third person in line said, "I'm a conservative. If elected, what will you do for me?"
"I'll send that first guy to Iraq, and the second guy back to Mexico."
The saddest part of this election is that some people will vote for Obama and those against him will vote for McCain. Our only hope is that enough will vote against Obama for McCain to squeak in. What a sad state of affairs.