Posted on 12/28/2007 10:39:39 AM PST by Cagey
Now, when you flip on your favorite TV program and it starts right into the plot, it almost feels like something is missing.
I write today about the passing of something special, fading away so subtly many of us have failed to take proper notice.
The death of the TV theme song.
Everybody's got a different story about that one composition that sticks in the head. My story reaches back to a childhood as an aspiring musician in hardscrabble Gary, Ind. - where negotiating the fluid, driving bass line of the theme to Barney Miller was an odd rite of passage in a community where your mettle was often tested more directly.
That's how it is with these songs; they worm into your heart and mind in the most unexpected ways.
There's the wonderful anticipation kicked off by the first notes of explanatory themes such as Gilligan's Island ("Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale ...") or The Brady Bunch ("... till the one day when the lady met this fellow ..."). You never grew tired of hearing the entire premise of the TV show you were about to watch, laid out in same catchy song every week.
There are the sleek jams, ranging from Barney Miller and Mission Impossible (did a trilling string tremolo ever sound cooler?) to the Theme From Ironside and even the junkman's comedy Sanford and Son.
Producer Quincy Jones was a master at this craft, cranking out themes for Ironside, Sanford and Police Woman that are so cool, listening to his box set sometimes feels like channel surfing through Nick at Nite.
Some themes even became hit records. Duane Eddy's signature guitar twang powered the theme for Peter Gunn to Grammy awards in the '50s and the '80s; the themes for Welcome Back Kotter, S.W.A.T. and Miami Vice all reached No. 1 on singles sales charts.
So why do so few current TV shows have memorable themes?
Fox's medical hit House starts with a few snatches of Massive Attack's instrumental tune Teardrop, barely enough music to cover the list of actors. CBS's blockbuster CSI franchise just stole popular hits from classic rockers the Who, including Who Are You? (C.S.I), Won't Get Fooled Again (C.S.I.: Miami) and Baba O'Reilly (C.S.I.: NY).
One version of the theme for NBC's Scrubs lasts less than 13 seconds. TNT's hit police drama The Closer hardly bothers with opening music at all, displaying the names of the cast over each episode's first scene, a lone guitar twanging in the background.
My hunch is that modern TV producers fear flip-happy viewers will take any excuse to surf away from a show and sample other channels. Eliminating the theme song is just another way to deal with the multitude of channels and remote control technology offered today's consumer, locking them into an unfolding show before they even realize it has begun.
I also blame Frasier - which may have started the anti-theme trend by taking its own cute tune (the jazzy shuffle Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs, sung by the star, Kelsey Grammer) and sticking it at the back of the show, to play over the closing credits after the episode was done.
And the three or four of us who still watch ER have noticed that the theme song, which once featured a fresh-faced George Clooney charging through the halls of County General Hospital with his co-stars, now all long gone, has been reduced to a single chord of music.
It's hard to describe the loss to pop culture when TV stops cranking out classic songs like the theme to All in the Family or The Jeffersons. But there's little doubt we've lost something special.
I wasn't singing Baba O'Reilly when I stepped inside the doorway to the first house I ever owned. I was shouting proudly about "movin' on up/to the East Side."
I finally had a piece of the pie. It's too bad the TV industry doesn't give us that flavor anymore.
Eric Deggans can be reached at deggans@sptimes.com or (727) 893-8521.
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Eric Deggans' top 10 TV theme song list
Let's admit upfront that my list of TV's top 10 theme songs is completely subjective, created mostly according to my nostalgia and musical preferences. Here's we go:
10. Sanford & Son - The swampy groove. The loopy melody. Toots Thielemans' amazing harmonica work. There are 10,000 reasons why Quincy Jones' theme helped make Redd Foxx the coolest junkman in TV history.
9. The Addams Family/The Munsters - Both tunes meld campy horror gloom with wacky comedy touches. And the Addams Family even tacked on classic lyrics: "They're creepy and they're kooky/Mysterious and spooky/They're all together ooky." Use of the word "ooky" = instant TV legend.
8. The Love Boat - Looking back, this lounge lizard classic ("Love . . . exciting and new") nails the faded '70s celebrity vibe of the series so well, you'd almost think it was intentional.
7. M*A*S*H (Suicide is Painless) - Transformed an elevator music classic into a resonant, powerful theme.
6. The Benny Hill Show (Yakety Sax) - No composition in the history of television so quickly communicates the idea: "wacky comedy ahead."
5. Gilligan's Island - Among all the explainer theme songs - Beverly Hillbillies, The Brady Bunch - this is most hallowed. And effective.
4. Miami Vice - What hipster didn't walk into a club during the '80s, pastel shirt and loafers securely in place, without this song playing in their head?
3. The Jeffersons - Only in the '70s would a sitcom about a successful black businessman come complete with a gospelized theme song ("Movin' on up!") straight from the pulpit.
2. The Sopranos - A3's throbbing, dance floor masterpiece Woke Up This Morning stands as the best modern-day TV theme song, for the best modern TV drama of all time.
1. All in the Family - Those Were the Days may be the best explainer theme song that wasn't, nailing the wistful anxiety of Edith and Archie Bunker so well, you loved hearing it week after week.
Who’s that riding in the sun?
Who’s the man with the itchy gun?
Who’s the man who kills for fun?
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad.
He sleeps with a gun
but he loves his son
Killed his wife ‘cos she weighed a ton.
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad.
A little touched or so we’re told
Killed his wife ‘cos she had a cold
Might as well she was gettin’ old
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad.
He’s quick with a gun
And his job ain’t done.
Killed his wife by twenty-one,
Psycho Dad!
Who’s that riding in the sleigh?
Who’s that firing along the way?
Who’s roughing up bums on Christmas day?
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad
Who’s the tall, dark stranger there.
The one with the gun and the icy stare.
The one with the scalp of his ex-wife’s hair!
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad!
Who’s that riding across the plain?
Who’s lost count of the wives he’s slain?
Who’s the man who’s plumb insane?
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad
He’s a durn good pa, but he hates the law.
He’s likes to eat it raw, He’s Psycho Dad!
TV is called a medium because it is rare if anything is well done.
I couldn’t believe how many shows i saw Mike Posts name on growing up.
Nowadays it’s the name Danny Elfman from the 80’s band Oingo Boingo that I see on alot of the new shows.
“You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred!”
It used to be that 50 minutes or more of each TV hour was spent on programming. Now it's more like 42, and trending lower. There's only so much content you can cut before audiences really take note.
So, you trim where you can. Theme songs? Gone, or minimized. Closing credits? Squeezed down so they can run a promo between shows. "Bumpers" for long commercial breaks? Mostly gone.
This is the theme to Gary's show
The opening theme to Gary's show
Gary called me up and asked if I would write his theme song.
It's almost halfway over, how do you like it so far?
How do you like the theme to Gary's show?This is the theme to Gary's show
The opening theme to Gary's show
This is the music that you hear while you watch the credits
We're almost to the part where I start to whistle, then we'll watch the Gary Shandling Show(whistle whistle whistle)
Now it's time for Gary Shandling's show.
Some very funky organ riffs on that one.
No kidding. If you watch TBS, they run the closing credits for one show as a crawl while the second show begins.
George, George
George of the Jungle,
Strong as he can be.
(Tarzan-esque Yell)
Watch out for that tree.
George, George,
George of the Jungle,
Lives a life that’s free.
(Tarzan-esque Yell)
Watch out for that tree.
When he gets in a scrape,
he makes his escape
with the help of his friend,
an ape named Ape.
Then away he’ll schlep
on his elephant Shep
While Fella and Ursula
Stay in step.
Well....George, George
George of the Jungle,
Friend to you and me.
(Tarzan-esque Yell)
Watch out for that tree,
Watch out for that...
*BANG*
“OWW!”
Tree!
George, George
George of the Jungle,
Friend to you and me!
That’s the one! Thanks, Pookie!
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