Posted on 12/26/2007 8:08:46 AM PST by Graybeard58
It seems to me that we are getting a lot of new members and the following may be helpful to them.
Live in a solid "red" state and when anybody complains about some asinine law in their blue state, tell them to "just move from there". The simplistic solution is always the best one. Refer to California as Californicate or Kalifornia. The people's republic of (insert state name here) is always good.
When an article appears about something negative happening in public schools, proudly proclaim that all your kids are home schooled and geniuses to boot. Extra points if you also state "Publik educashun suks" extra, extra points if you put "home school" in caps and add a few exclamination points.
Any article posted about guns being used in a crime, be sure to ask what caliber gun was used and berate the author for leaving out that very relevant fact. If the good guy shot at the bad guy and missed, tell everybody that he needs more range time. Helpful also to mention what an excellent marksman you are. Post a picture of one of your guns for extra points.
When an article about those deceptive credit card companies is posted, post a reply stating one of the following, "I don't have a credit card and never will", or "I have credit cards but pay all balances if full every month", extra points if yours is the first reply on the matter. If you can squeeze it in there, also let folks know that you don't own a television set anymore and haven't since 1967. If you can't get that in, you'll just have to wait for a thread about the MSM to post it. Don't even hint at the fact that most articles posted here are from the MSM.
A "noob" or "Newbie" is a member who has been here one day less than you have, an old timer has been here at least one day longer. Noobs opinions don't mean very much because they all started forming their political philosophies the day they signed up here.
Become adept at using these terms, Noobie, troll, DUer, idiot, bigot, moron (preferred spelling - "maroon"), IBTZ etc.
Join one or more of the following as soon as possible, Spelling police, grammar police, thread police. Extra points if you join all three
I'm not fully coffeed up yet,am I logged in? Any helpful suggestions or additions are welcome.
page
Where’s Guy leDouche?
Me too!
ok, i am not going to read through 200 posts so i'm just going to write.
when in doubt, post a picture. preferably the "Aww, not this sh-t again" picture or a really ugly picture of helen thomas. never fails. people will love you.
also, if you own a cat, take endless pictures of your cat. then, photoshop a gun in your cats hands or put a pancake on its head. and give the cat a really cool viking name. everyone will really love you.
oh, big one here. whenever a cop tases someone (ANYONE!) immediately jump to the conclusion that the cop is wrong. oh, and the first one to post "Don't tase me, BRO!" wins freeper of the day.
if a SWAT team raids the wrong house, immediately say that all SWAT teams should be disbanded and that every cop you know is a power-hungry thug. use single instances of police misconduct or simple mistakes and use them to generalize all officers and departments as morons and nazi's.
and if anyone defends the cop, simply call them a boot-licker. you'll be revered.
So are a lot of us :)
yeah, but you’re a chick.
You noticed!
nwar
Never stopped me.
Yep.
That means, according to FR ettiquete, you go back to the kitchen and let us mens post Anna Kournikova pictures. ;’)
(your tagline: Really? Oh no....)
Who cares?
Wasn’t Peter Noone in Herman’s Hermits?
Speaking of spam, who's that Franzana (or whoever) who posts nothing but spam, day after day, on the FR contingency site? Why doesn't the moderator (JR?) boot him/her out?
How much do I hate Yahoo?!!!!!!! Let me count the ways. They've completely redone the My Yahoo page, so all of the news sites that I so carefully selected, are all GONE. They also took over flickr, which I haven't been back to since the merge. Back in the old days of Yahoo, it was a fun place. Now, I hate anything Yahoo.
bump
bttt
Yep, bled to death while I was away.
Very said, but her life expectancy wasn’t that good to begin with.
Do you get carry over vanities? Let say you work really hard and don’t post vanities, then one day you see a line at a super market opening and think you get to meet a someone important or a cheerleader from a pro sport. After you wait in line for a hour you start playing with your cell phone don’t notice it is a hugs not drugs promotion and Helen Thomas (no relation) gives you a big hug. You scream and run in a panic into the parking lot where you hit a fuel efficient car. Because the car is so small you escape series injury but are laid up a few days with nothing to do but freep?
Stop talking about Spam!
...you’re making me hungry...
Self inflicted wounds?
Thats too bad. How old was she? She was the psycho one right?
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