Posted on 12/17/2007 5:46:11 AM PST by billorites
Contrary to the rumors I have been trying to spread for some time, Disney Princess products are not contaminated with lead. More careful analysis shows that the entire product line--books, DVDs, ball gowns, necklaces, toy cell phones, toothbrush holders, T-shirts, lunch boxes, backpacks, wallpaper, sheets, stickers etc.--is saturated with a particularly potent time-release form of the date rape drug.
We cannot blame China this time, because the drug is in the concept, which was spawned in the Disney studios. Before 2000, the Princesses were just the separate, disunited, heroines of Disney animated films-- Snow White, Cinderella, Ariel, Aurora, Pocahontas, Jasmine, Belle, and Mulan. Then Disney's Andy Mooney got the idea of bringing the gals together in a team. With a wave of the wand ($10.99 at Target, tiara included) they were all elevated to royal status and set loose on the world as an imperial cabal, and have since have busied themselves achieving global domination. Today, there is no little girl in the wired, industrial world who does not seek to display her allegiance to the pink- and-purple clad Disney dynasty.
Disney likes to think of the Princesses as role models, but what a sorry bunch of wusses they are. Typically, they spend much of their time in captivity or a coma, waking up only when a Prince comes along and kisses them. The most striking exception is Mulan, who dresses as a boy to fight in the army, but--like the other Princess of color, Pocahontas--she lacks full Princess status and does not warrant a line of tiaras and gowns. Otherwise the Princesses have no ambitions and no marketable skills, although both Snow White and Cinderella are good at housecleaning.
And what could they aspire to, beyond landing a Prince? In Princessland, the only career ladder leads from baby-faced adolescence to a position as an evil enchantress, stepmother or witch. Snow White's wicked stepmother is consumed with envy for her stepdaughter's beauty; the sea witch Ursula covets Ariel's lovely voice; Cinderella's stepmother exploits the girl's cheap, uncomplaining, labor. No need for complicated witch-hunting techniques--pin-prickings and dunkings--in Princessland. All you have to look for is wrinkles.
Feminist parents gnash their teeth. For this their little girls gave up Dora, who bounds through the jungle saving baby jaguars, whose mother is an archeologist and whose adventures don't involve smoochy rescues by Diego? There was drama in Dora's life too, and the occasional bad actor like Swiper the fox. Even Barbie looks like a suffragette compared to Disney's Belle. So what's the appeal of the pink tulle Princess cult?
Seen from the witchy end of the female life cycle, the Princesses exert their pull through a dark and undeniable eroticism. They're sexy little wenches, for one thing. Snow White has gotten slimmer and bustier over the years; Ariel wears nothing but a bikini top (though, admittedly, she is half fish.) In faithful imitation, the 3-year-old in my life flounces around with her tiara askew and her Princess gown sliding off her shoulder, looking for all the world like a London socialite after a hard night of cocaine and booze. Then she demands a poison apple and falls to the floor in a beautiful swoon. Pass the Rohypnol-laced margarita, please.
It may be old-fashioned to say so, but sex--and especially some middle-aged man's twisted version thereof--doesn't belong in the pre-K playroom. Children are going to discover it soon enough, but they're got to do so on their own.
There's a reason, after all, why we're generally more disgusted by sexual abusers than adults who inflict mere violence on children: we sense that sexual abuse more deeply messes with a child's mind. One's sexual inclinations--straightforward or kinky, active or passive, heterosexual or homosexual--should be free to develop without adult intervention or manipulation. Hence our harshness toward the kind of sexual predators who leer at kids and offer candy. But Disney, which also owns ABC, Lifetime, ESPN, A&E and Miramax, is rewarded with $4 billion a year for marketing the masochistic Princess cult and its endlessly proliferating paraphernalia.
Let's face it, no parent can stand up against this alone. Try to ban the Princesses from your home, and you might as well turn yourself in to Child Protective Services before the little girls get on their Princess cell phones. No, the only way to topple royalty is through a mass uprising of the long-suffering serfs. Assemble with your neighbors and make a holiday bonfire out of all that plastic and tulle! March on Disney World with pitchforks held high!
What a sad, sick woman.
My daughters love Disney princesses and, other than the occasional caltrop (tiny little high-heeled shoes with the heel pointing up) and having to clean up after ‘em, I don’t have a problem with it.
Of course, I’m a guy, so I might not get it...
One's sexual inclinations--straightforward or kinky, active or passive, heterosexual or homosexual--should be free to develop without adult intervention or manipulation.
More proof that leftists are self-hating raging lunatics.
Held somewhat captive in a “Princess” household with my 2 girls. One of the biggest things I have noticed is the de-evoltion of Disney films over the years. The earlier films (Sleeping Beauty comes to mind) are not shy of labeling good and evil, and showing the battle between the two. The newer one’s seem to have the same blurred-line thinking that so many hold today in terms of who/what is good, and evil doesn’t really exist, they are just misunderstood.
“It may be old-fashioned to say so, but sex—and especially some middle-aged man’s twisted version thereof—doesn’t belong in the pre-K playroom. Children are going to discover it soon enough, but they’re got to do so on their own. “
And by “their own” I’m sure she means the introduction of “Heather has two Mommies” and other such rubbish that they get to be taught in kindergarten (apparently the age that kids can start leaning on their own as she states)
As for dolls, I’d be more concerned with Bratz than Disney princesses.
The SWEETEST pictures I have of my then 2 y/o niece are of her meeting the Princesses at Disney world. They will melt your heart! The women they have playing the parts are perfect matches, are extremely patient and kind.... and from what my Bro & SIL said, they knelt, hugged and really took time to talk with each child. My niece was enthralled the entire time.
Lets see what she could learn—
Be kind, polite and be a good listener. Treat others with respect and expect to be treated likewise. Being a lady is always a good thing.
Oh, and pretty dresses are nice. Matching shoes are cool too.
It's always funny to watch these people twist themselves into knots trying to maintain unsustainable political views. The Disney Princesses are powerful symbols of feminine yin energy, little girls are naturally and instantly attracted to them, and feminists just can't stand it. It makes for wonderful comedy. ;)
OMG.....trashing the Disney Princesses.......wowser.
You know you’re in the Twilight Zone when getting married to a man you love is described as “some middle-aged man’s twisted version of (sex).” Disney’s happily-ever-afters may not be entirely realistic, but a person who thinks even a fictional happy marriage is “twisted” needs lots of help.
My personal favorite is the father of the prince in “Cinderella,” who wants his son to get married only so he can have grandchildren!
There was some grumbling here about the evil white concept of Pocahantas, but our Little Princess, now 26, was clear about the difference between cartoon and reality. This author is nuts.
LOL!
He sounded just like so many fathers out there “OK, now I want grandkids!”
Normal.
LOL! The father sounds like my parents.
I was married in September. By October my parents were trying to figure out what they wanted the grandkids to call them.
Well.........
Hurry up!
“She’s a beautiful girl, but will she make a good mother? I mean, a good WIFE!”
My little girls (9 and 7) like the new Barbie princess films. These also have good examples for girls: courage, intelligence, unselfishness, and so on. Along with plenty of annoying songs and silly animals, of course ...
You too?
Off the subject (sorta) but my niece adores her Uncle GBB (Grumpy Batchelor Brother) think a cross between Jethro Bodine, Tom Selleck and Larry the Cable Guy....
Anyhow, he will do anything she asks....anything.
Her parents had her in a store and there, hung from the ceiling was—— A PRINCESS CAR! And she saw it! And asked for it.
Mommy and Daddy explained it was too high up and they couldn’t reach it (usually that works with a 2 year old).
Without missing a beat she said “GBB can reach it!”
(and if it meant shinnying up shelves and across ceiling beams, he would).
OK,
whenever you’re ready (but I want to see pictures when it gets here!)
LOL! I’ve seen the princess car in my neighborhood. I worry about the children, though, the way people drive the real cars around here.
Ehrenreich must have kissed a lot of toads that didn’t turn into princes to be that sour and bitter. Of course this article moves her up on Hillary’s list of possible cabinet members.
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