[Cardhu]

GOOD MORNING ALL

Women become smarter and nicer only for seven days of their monthly cycle

How can women be so different? A sweet and tender bunny can turn into a spiteful and irritable bitch without any apparent cause. Where is their common sense? What for are all these groundless suspicions and jealousy? These are typical questions men have been asking for ages. Even Nancy Meyers in her “What Women Want” did not give a clear explanation to this question. But now it is science that can answer. It turns out that sex hormones rule over women’s brain. The knowledge of biochemistry can easily predict women’s emotions.

The difference between male and female brains is not a secret to modern-day science: cerebral hemispheres function in different ways. Neurons - nerve cells in woman’s brain – are always active. These factors cause constant changes in perception and handling of information.

Scientists explained this fact through experimental results. They discovered that pregnant mice are much smarter than their non-pregnant companions. The animals become cleverer because their brain receives more estrogen, the female sex hormone.

“This hormone stimulates the growth of dendrites, neuron sprouts; and this, in its turn, improves cerebration,” Professor Craig H. Kinsley said.

The professor believed at first that the experiment held true only for animals. But his colleagues from York University of Toronto proved that estrogen positively influenced all mammalian female beings, especially human beings of female sex. The latter should not necessarily be pregnant to be wise: their quick-wittedness depends on the menstrual period.

The concentration of estrogen in female body grows in about ten days after the beginning of the menstrual period. As a result of this process women become smarter and nicer, but only for seven days. Men can quickly tell the difference between photographs of one and the same woman made in different monthly periods.

“On these days women are also prone to rivalry. Her senses including hearing, vision, smell, her skin sensitivity, logic and emotions can either worsen or intensify during menstruation,” Charles Crawford, a psychologist from Simon Fraser University says.

On the basis of these experiments scientists compiled a peculiar calendar, which men can use in their relations with the opposite sex. The only difficulty is that men should possess enough information about women whose behavior they want to predict.

From the first till the seventh day of the cycle:

Women experience slight problems with understanding other people and prefer to simply smile back. The ability to express thoughts weakens. Women become dreamy and emotional.

From the eighth to the fourteenth day:

Women grow wiser and prettier, but become emotionally unbalanced at the same time. They make scathing remarks about other women, but are favorably concerned with men.

From the fifteenth to the eighteenth day:

This is a period of extreme suspiciousness and jealousy. The organism demands more sex and scandals. Mental capacity decreases. Skin becomes more sensitive to caress.

From the nineteenth to the twenty-second day:

Mental capacity fades away. Problems with memory are possible. Women become extremely confiding. Their color sensing is quite OK: all presented bouquets of flowers would be appreciated.

Hmmmm...I wonder what grannie's excuse is?

Pravda RU

[Cardhu]

From the fifteenth to the eighteenth day:

Mental capacity decreases. Skin becomes more sensitive to caress.

Out of their mind but susceptible - Darks... take notes.

[Lady Jag]

Let me guess which sex the author is.

It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive and there is nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

 

My name is Paul  - Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Sue. When I was laid off from my consulting job and took "early retirement" in April, it became necessary for Sue to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

 

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I usually have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so when I hit that door, I'm ready for some home cooked grub.

 

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating, but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening, that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it seems to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

 

I really think my old business as a consult ant helps a lot. I consider telling people what they ought to do is one of my strong points.

 

And speaking of bed, her age really shows up there. I go out and golf all day, come home dead tired, then after a two-hour nap and a good meal, I'm ready, if you know what I mean. Age has gotten to her so bad, that she actually dozes off during lovemaking. But that's okay. Her satisfaction in that area is important to a sensitive guy like me, and if she enjoys sleeping during our little trysts, what the heck.

 

Now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much more quickly. Since our washer and dryer are in the basement, sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this; as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I'm willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club, or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting.

 

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But boys, we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.

 

I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points also.

 

I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too, then take her break by my hammock.

 

I know that I probably look like a Saint in the way I support Sue. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do, how frustrated women get as they get older.

 

However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this to help each other.

 

Paul

 

EDITOR'S NOTE: Paul died suddenly Thursday, Jan. 3. He was found with a Calloway extra long 50 inch Big Bertha Driver rammed up his rectum with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife, Sue, was arrested, but the Grand Jury (made up of mostly women because the men are so busy) accepted her defense that he accidentally sat on it and she was released on Friday.