The Dragon Flies'Lair~XXXXIII

Poets of The Lair | October 07, 2007 | Soaring Feather

[Lady Jag]

Yep, that’s one.

Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
He was buttering up his teacher.

[Lady Jag]

Got it. Love it.

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He’s all right now.

[Lady Jag]

Top 10 Houses to Avoid while Trick-or-Treating

10. Any house that seems to be imploding into a hole in the ground.

9. Any house made of gingerbread.

8. Any house that has ornamental lawn Hell Hounds.

7. Any house whose only entrance is through the basement.

6. Any house where all the windows are glowing with eerie green light.

5. Any house that keeps growling, "Get out"

4. Any house where the trophy animal heads on the walls are talking.

3. Any house that has a bloody wood chipper prominently displayed in the front yard.

2. Any house with a yard full of statues of people in odd running poses.

And the number 1 house to avoid...

1. Any house that wasn't there a couple of seconds ago.

 

[Soaring Feather]

LoL I like #1.

[Soaring Feather]

Lambert Hendricks & Ross~Moanin'

Click



Sinatra~I've Got You Under My Skin




Blue Oyster Cult~Veteran of the Psychic Wars

[Lady Jag]

#1 is a very important rule. You have to stay alert and maybe count the houses first.

How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.

[tomkow6]

What do spooks call their Navy?

The ghost guard.

[tomkow6]

Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?

Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

[Lady Jag]

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?

He is mist.

[MEG33]

[WayzataJOHNN]

It must be the sailor in me but I REALLY like those witches in those tight slinky black outfits!

My list of Halloween favorites

1. Sit on porch in a Grim Reaper costume in a chair as if a stuffed figure. When the kid show up, leap from chair and scare the %%$$##@@!! out of them and add their candy to my haul

2. Wire set of tweeter speakers on the porch and broadcast Ultrasonics (They can’t hear it) It makes them edgy, and then you jerk the door open and scream. Those who faint contribute their candy to your own supply.

3. Put a lock box on the porch with a sign by the small hatch into the box. “Put Candy here for a treat” When they all have put their candy in, you flip a switch inside the house and little sign lites up “Thank you, now go away”

I always have a nice supply of candy after Halloween.

[Lady Jag]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

[Lady Jag]

[WayzataJOHNN]

I did mention I always go as a Curmudgeon at Halloween didn’t I?

;^)

[Soaring Feather]

[tomkow6]

CONFIRMED DARWIN AWARD: Mummy Says, Don't Smoke
"Another Incentive to Kick the Habit"

For Halloween 1998, a Canadian man dressed as a mummy by wrapping himself from head to toe in fluffy cotton batting. The cotton was taped at the wrists and ankles, and white gloves and running shoes completed his ensemble. As the mummy waited for his girlfriend to dress for pictures, he carelessly lit a cigarette...
and the fluffy cotton burst into flames.

The reason for flame-retardant costumes became clear.

Firefighters arrived within minutes, yet already the mummy costume was reduced to ashes, right down to the white coveralls underneath. The man kept repeating, "It's my fault." He was taken to Soldier's Memorial Hospital with 2nd and 3rd degree burns, where he died.
 

[Soaring Feather]

oooooooooooooo

[SevenofNine]

Damn Tomkow where you get this stories LOL!

It is Canadian army so what do you expect

They are bunch of hosers eh LOL!

[MEG33]

LOL! I thought you were supposed to go in costume.
;o)

I left to run errands and then decided I might as well do the monthly grocery shopping..Just unloaded it all and ate a bite. Also had a bit of a visit with my little raccoon..

[Soaring Feather]

Good night everyone.


My candle burns at both ends,
It will not last the night
But ah, my foes and oh, my friends,
It gives a lovely light!


--Edna St. Vincent Millay