This certainly sounds too fun and capricious to be allowed. Especially by “selectmen” (?).
To our old guests and friends from the Road Kill Cafe and the Frog Rock, we're delighted to see you again...and what a long strange trip it's been. To those of you who are new to our version of North Woods Cuisine, sit back and enjoy yourself, but we do have a few ground rules for you to keep in mind:
1. Appropriate dress required, i.e. a shirt and shoes (for ladies, the shirt requirement can be waived).
2.Do not steal this menu. Extra menus are available from the bartender.
3. Our employees are working here while searching for a real job. We refuse to pay a living wage so don't make their lives any more miserable then they already are.
4. Bring in something interesting and it will go on the wall in perpetuity - if it's really good, we'll trade you something for it.
5. No food fights unless specifically authorized by your server.
6. We accept cash, Visa, cash, Master Card, cash, Discover, cash, and cash.
7. When dining in the Moosehead Lake Region, never ASSUME it's a raisin.
So sit back, feel free to make a fool of yourself, and have a great time.
BOOZE
Our bartenders have little experience and are working here while searching for a real career so don't expect them to know about some exotic drink served south of Skowhegan to underage girls with fake IDs who don't like the taste of liquor. If you can describe it, we'll give it our best shot...
Now as you can imagine, we get asked all sorts of questions about the last few years, the area, local customs, traditions, directions etc., so to save time, here are
THE TOP TEN
Answers To The Most Frequently Asked Questions:
1. A deer becomes a moose at age 4.
2. Yes, there are lobsters in Moosehead Lake but they are very small.
3. We know all about the Road Kill Cafe but we're tired of talking about it. If you insist, the bartender can give you the details.
4. 38 below zero.
5. No.
6. A little over 6"
7. 32 miles long, 300 islands and 518 miles of shoreline.
8. It burned - get over it.
9. Yes, you can get there from here but you won't like it.
10. That's not how you pronounce Kokadjo.