Yes, watermelons works for me!
An Irish woman of advancing years visited her physician to solicit his help in reviving her husband’s flailing libido.
“What about trying Viagra?” asks the doctor.
“Not a chance,” she said. “He won’t even take anaspirin!”
“Not to fret,” replied the doctor. “Give him an Irish Viagra.”
“What’s an Irish Viagra, Doctor?”
“That’s where you just drop the Viagra into his morning coffee. He won’t even taste it,” replied the doctor. “Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.”
Not even a week had gone by before she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to the progress of the experiment.
The poor dear exclaimed, “Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T’was horrid, just too terrible, doc!”
“Really? What happened?” asked the doctor.
“Well, I did as you advised. I slipped the Viagra into his morning coff ee and it took effect almost immediately. He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging proudly! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth a flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me right on the tabletop! T’was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!
“Why so terrible?” asked the doctor. “Do you mean to say the sex your husband gave you wasn’t any good?”
“Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed! T’was the best sex I’ve had in twenty-five years! But sure as I’m sittin’ here before you, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!”
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From Get Fuzzy (by Darby Conley):
The Characters:
Bucky Katt: Aloof.. bizarre...sarcastic... volatile... He is a CAT, after all.
Satchel Pooch: Good ol’ Satchel tries to be everyone’s best friend, but more often than not, he’s caught in the middle of Bucky’s mischief. Innocent and well-meaning, if hopelessly naive.
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(Looking out the window)
Satchel Pooch: EEW...What is it?
Bucky Katt: I don’t know the exact species, but it’s got no spine, so it would be in Phylum Democrata.
Satchel Pooch: OK, that’s it. I’m sick and tired of....
Bucky Katt: Hey, Hey, Hey, I’m applying the scientific method here.
Bucky Katt: It’s spineless....it’s blue.....it’s show-moving, yet it leaves a layer of slime on everything it touches....I’m sorry, but in my book, that’s a democrat.
Bucky Katt: I suppose you could hit it with something.....if if fights back, you prove it’s not a democrat.
Bucky Katt: It looks sad! Why don’t you tax my tuna and buy it some drugs?!
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From a Dilbert cartoon:
Scene: Pointy haired boss is seeing a doctor.
Pointy haired boss: I keep forgetting where I put things
Doctor: The problem is that you’re stupid. I recommend replacing your brain with a monkey brain.
Pointy Haried Boss: Will that help?
Doctor: No, I just hate monkeys.
that comic is on my calender in front of me right now :)