[Lucky9teen]

[tomkow6]

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine . The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!

[tomkow6]

A Mafia Godfather finds out his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. 
That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court. 

When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. 

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the $10 million bucks he embezzled from me is."

The attorney, using sign language, asked the bookkeeper where the money is. 

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you're talking about. 

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." 

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple and says, "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: "He'll kill you if you don't tell him!" 

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK, you win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Ezro's backyard in Queens !" 

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?" 

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the nerve to pull the trigger." 

Don't you just love lawyers?

[Tatze]

[G8 Diplomat]