We aren't as far apart on the ratios as I would have thought. I'm a traditionalist - 25/33. When I was buying, the local standard seemed to be 33/40. They wanted to lend me a lot more than I was willing to borrow.
I can APPROVE someone at a higher level from an underwriting point of view, but that doesn’t mean it’s a smart way for them to go.
I also know what I’m comfortable with personally. Esp. considering how variable my income is, I wouldn’t exceed 28/37 and would probably go a bit less when I buy a home.
What I find funny are lenders that will go to a back-end of 50% of gross income. Considering take-home pay after withholdings is often only about 62% of income...that just leaves a few hundred dollars for utilities, food, gas, savings, emergencies...