Sybil: "Basil! Where are you going!?"
Basil: "To see Mr. O'Reilly, dear. I'm going to insert a large garden gnome into him."
Posted on 07/05/2007 1:57:24 PM PDT by MindBender26
Police Say Man Hit Brother With Lawn Gnome During Fight
PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- Police say a 26-year-old Port St. Lucie man was arrested after hitting his brother with a garden gnome and a ladder during a fight.
Police reports show Johnathon Gesell and his brother, James, began arguing Tuesday before Johnathon hit James in the back with the garden gnome.
Johnathon Gesell then allegedly punched his brother's girlfriend in the face and smashed part of the rear tail light and quarter panel on his brother's truck with a baseball bat. He also allegedly hit his brother in the side with a ladder.
Johnathon Gesell faces charges including aggravated assault, criminal mischief and two counts of aggravated battery.
No mention of possible gunplay as the scuffle didn’t happen during target practice.
Otherwise, it would have been a case of gnome on the range.
FUNNER & PUNNER PING —
If anyone wants either on or off of this list, you must be out of your minds....
Sybil: "Basil! Where are you going!?"
Basil: "To see Mr. O'Reilly, dear. I'm going to insert a large garden gnome into him."
Gnome run.
The guy's Tshirt is absolutely clean and spotless white. His jeans are pristine. And his boots are clean.
The chick's makeup is perfect. So is her hair. And she doesn't have a single tattoo or piercing.
They may play them on TV, but you could search every trailer park in Paulding county and not find anybody who looks like either of those two.
ping
The victim was shown a photo of a suspect, but he said “I don’t gnome at all.”
Gnome on the range is good.
LOL. Sounds like one of my family reunions.
Did you ever see the post I made (long ago, and it was true) about the guy here who caught his wife with another man and stole her false teeth? He wouldn’t give them back.
Problem is, the woman was only about 22 years old. Talk about the ultimate revenge!!!!!
My garden gnomes, and have have about 12 of them, would never behave like that.
>>>>Gnome on the range is good.
Have you no shame?
:~)
Great show! LOL
How badly was the gnome injured?
Was use of the gnome as a weapon inspired by hate?
Is The National Association for Nondiscrimination Against Elves, Gnomes, and Little Ugly People [NANAEGULP] looking into why no hate crimes charges were filed?
I didn’t do it. TheSpiritOfAllegiance did.
This brings to mind a song from 5 years ago.
DFU SONG: Home on the Range (Drones nail terrorists) 11-9-02
DFU SONG PARODIES | 11-2002 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland
Posted on 11/09/2002 9:20:50 PM PST by doug from upland
MIDI - HOME ON THE RANGE
Oh, give me a drone so where terrorists roam
I can blow the hell out of their car
Like video games…we’ll engulf them in flames
They’ll be frightened wherever they are
Drones, drones move down range
The coordinates I’m gonna change
They won’t even hear…as the bomb’s coming near
Then we’ll all do high fives at the bar
Some think it is mean…we fly over unseen
And we send them a little surprise
It drops from the sky…all their plans go awry
And they won’t make it to the bazaar
Drones, drones move down range
The coordinates I’m gonna change
They won’t even hear…as the bomb’s coming near
Then we’ll all do high fives at the bar
Maybe on TV we are going to see
An exciting reality show
A name we might try…”Stupid Drivers Who Die”
In their autos they don’t get too far
Drones, drones move down range
The coordinates I’m gonna change
They won’t even hear…as the bomb’s coming near
Then we’ll all do high fives at the bar
They won’t even hear…as the bomb’s coming near
Then we’ll all do high fives at the bar
My guess: Gnome Chomsky. A typical garden variety type trouble maker.
How big was that ladder?
Shudder....gives me a flashback to last hour’s TV news where Hillary was strutting her cottage cheese thighs to some adoring Iowa crowd.
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