What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
Types of People who Fart:
VAIN PERSON :ONE WHO LOVES THE SMELL OF HIS OWN
FART
AMBITIOUS :ALWAYS READY FOR A FART
LAZY :JUST FIZZLES
AMIABLE :LIKES TO SMELL OTHER’S FARTS
PROUD :THINKS HIS FARTS ARE EXCEPTIONALLY
PLEASANT
SHY :BLUSHES WHEN HE FARTS SILENTLY
CARELESS :FARTS IN CHURCH OR AT GLOW OF LOVE IN
THE ROOM
SMART ALEC :FARTS WHEN LADIES ARE PRESENT
CLEVER :FARTS AND COUGHS AT THE SAME TIME
SCIENTIFIC :BOTTLES HIS FARTS
STINGY :BELCHES TO SAVE HIS BUTT-HOLE
TIMID :JUMPS WHEN HE FARTS
CONCEITED :THINKS HE CAN FART THE LOUDEST
UNFORTUNATE :TRIES TO FART BUT POOPS IN HIS PANTS
INSTEAD
FOOLISH :SUPPRESSES A FART FOR HOURS
BEWILDERED :CAN’T TELL HIS OWN FART FROM OTHERS
(that’s me!0
NERVOUS :STOPS IN THE MIDDLE OF A FART
MISERABLE :CAN’T FART AT ALL
CONFUSED :FACE IS SO MUCH LIKE A BUTT,FART CAN’T
TELL WHICH WAY TO GO
GROUCHY :GRUMBLES WHEN LADIES FART
SNEAKY :FARTS AND THEN BLAMES IT ON SOMEONE ELSE
DISAPPOINTED :FART DOESN’T SMELL
CHILDISH :FARTS AND THEN GIGGLES
FRESH GUY :JUMPS IN FRONT OF YOU AND THEN FARTS
BIG BULLY :HOLDS YOU DOWN AND THEN FARTS IN YOUR
FACE
DUMB :ENJOYS OTHER FARTS, THINKING THEY ARE HIS
OWN
SICK :SMELLS YOUR FART AND THEN TELLS YOU WHAT
YOU WERE EATIN’
DAMNED MEAN :FARTS AND THEN PULLS THE COVERS
OVER HIS WIFE’S HEAD (that’s me!)
MUSICAL :TENOR OR BASS,CLEAR AS A BELL,SMELLS BAD
BUT SOUNDS GREAT!
ATHLETIC :JUMPS IN THE AIR,FARTS 3 TIMES,AND CLICKS
HIS HEELS 3 TIMES
SLOB :FARTS AND THEN STAINS HIS UNDERWEAR
IMPUDENT :FARTS OUT LOUD AND THEN LAUGHS
ENVIRONMENTALIST :FARTS REGULARLY BUT IS
CONCERNED ABOUT THE POLLUTION
HONEST :ADMITS HE FARTED BUT OFFERS A GOOD
MEDICAL REASON
DISHONEST :FARTS AND THEN BLAMES IT ON THE DOG
HERMIT :ONE WHO ALWAYS HAS A FART IN RESERVE
ANTI-SOCIAL :EXCUSES HIMSELF AND FARTS IN PRIVATE
INTELLECTUAL :CAN DETERMINE THE SMELL OF HIS
NEIGHBOR’S FART
WHIMPY :FARTS AT THE SLIGHTEST EXERTION
SADIST :FARTS IN BED AND THEN FLUFFS THE COVERS
SENSITIVE :FARTS AND THEN STARTS CRYING
AQUATIC :FARTS IN THE BATH; THEN BREAKS THE BUBBLES
WITH HIS TOES
MACHOCHIST :FARTS IN THE BATH AND TRIES TO BITE THE
BUBBLES