Posted on 04/18/2007 8:46:28 AM PDT by dead
Poor Kate Middleton, dumped by the second in line to the British throne then displayed humiliatingly to the world as Prince William's "practice chick", the mere recipient of some of his wild oats. But judging by the astonishing Pommy snobbery unleashed in the week since the break-up of her almost five-year relationship, Middleton, 25, is well off out of it.
British newspapers are full of quotes from the supposed upper classes about how Kate was too "common" to marry William, 24.
Her mother, Carole Middleton, was "pushy, rather twee and incredibly middle-class", according to a royal source quoted by the Daily Mail.
Mrs Middleton's crimes? She says "Pleased to meet you" instead of "How do you do", "toilet" instead of "lavatory" and "pardon?" instead of "what?".
Senior courtiers at Buckingham Palace were said to be whispering that Carole, a former flight attendant who married a pilot, was really "not the thing". Therefore, nor was her daughter, despite the fact that Kate has behaved impeccably in the five years since she met William at university in Scotland and moved in with him.
Another element of Toiletgate, as it has been dubbed, is the claim that William's friends used to mock Middleton by whispering "Doors to Manual" whenever she entered a room, a dig at her mother's trolley-dolly past.
"There'd be jibes asking Kate if she was going to wheel in the trolley and when the food service would start. All pretty juvenile stuff, but these are former Eton chaps who are permanently stuck in that sort of humour."
The snobs are anonymous but there is a ring of truth to the slurs, which have a long history in Britain, as a contrived way of separating the anxious U (upper classes) from the aspirational non-U, terms immortalised by the English author Nancy Mitford in a 1956 essay.
The U might be under threat of extinction in the new classless Britain but the fact its secret code remained un-cracked by bourgeois Carole Middleton and her daughter apparently is cause for crowing celebration in the aristocracy, a sign that all is not yet lost.
"I am a firm believer in people marrying into the same class," the self-described aristocrat Kishanda Fulford wrote this week in the Daily Mail, which described her as "the wife of Francis Fulford, whose family has lived in their stately home for 800 years", and obviously has never had to buy his own furniture - another distinction between U and non-U.
"There is no confusion over what time 'dinner' is and what to call the 'loo'… There are many pretty girls from the lower and middle classes who have married into the aristocracy, indeed, Duchesses past and present have bloodlines which could be considered as ordinary as Kate's - but they never ended up queen."
According to another "insider": "Carole's whole approach is very aspirational. But re-laying your front drive and trimming the wisteria around your front door isn't going to make your home, or your daughter, fit for a prince."
Ouch.
Seen from a middle-class meritocracy such as Australia, the attacks on the Middletons are bafflingly petty, especially when William, his brother, Harry, and their mates are so often seen behaving with as much class as Paris Hilton.
Last month, for instance, British tabloids ran a front-page photo of William posing for the camera while squeezing the breast of a young woman - not Kate. His pick-up line is reported to be: "Hi, I'm going to be king; d'ya fancy a pull?", which may, of course, be an urban myth.
The more we see of the Queen's descendants, the less suitable they appear to be to reign over an egalitarian country such as ours.
Of course, there is goodwill and sympathy for William in Australia, mainly because of the tragic end of his mother, Princess Diana. And it is silly for the British press to chastise him for doing what practically every other man his age does - extending his promiscuous bachelor days as long as possible.
Still, as the British TV agony aunt Denise Robertson wrote this week of the break-up: "There are undertones of 'droit du seigneur' - a maiden dishonoured and then discarded."
It is an old-fashioned concept, but Middleton's fate is a salutary lesson for young women contemplating shacking up with the love of their lives rather than holding out for a firm commitment.
In 2005 the median age at marriage for Australian men was 32 (up from 26 in 1985), and for women it was 29.7 (up from 24) and leaving a shrinking window of fertility. In the expanding period of singledom, cohabitation has become an almost mandatory stepping stone to marriage. A whopping 76 per cent of couples (69 per cent in NSW) who married in 2005 had been "living in sin", as they used to say.
But the idea of "try before you buy" gives all the advantages to men, who get the benefits of marriage with none of the responsibilities. They get sex on tap, domesticity, companionship, and probably nutritional and hygiene improvements. They can test-drive the merchandise for as long as they like.
But for women, the immovable biological fact of declining fertility means the deal is inevitably unfair. And if marriage comes at all, it often is a utilitarian choice after all the magic and mystery has been used up in a tenuous coexistence in which neither partner fully trusts the other and one foot is always out the door.
If Middleton had really wanted to marry William she never should have set up house with him. Smart girls don't give away marital perks free.
devinemiranda@hotmail.com
They were ALWAYS weird. What do you expect from inbreds?
Girls shouldn't waste 5 years on a non-marriageable model. Fertility begins to decline after 25, takes a steep decline at 30 and another very steep decline at 40.
Some of my friends spent their 20s shacked up with losers - one was seeing a married man who refused to leave his wife - and really missed the best years for finding a nice husband. One of them is in her 50s now and never married.
now if she said 'turlit' instead of 'toilet'...maybe!
lmao flat our rolling in the floor.........oh man that was funny.
Royalty who want to live life like a rock star forfeit the privilege of royalty. The royal family needs to be pensioned off and stripped of legal status and authority. Only the Queen seems to appreciate that fact and it obviously is her major concern.
When are these monarchists going to get the boot altogether? I’m sick of royal adulation - that includes too many Americans.
‘Mrs Middleton’s crimes? She says “Pleased to meet you” instead of “How do you do”, “toilet” instead of “lavatory” and “pardon?” instead of “what?”.’
That last 1 really confuses me. “WHAT?” is very coarse and blunt. “Pardon” or “Excuse” is proper. Shocked “royalty” would think “what?” is better than “pardon”?
The other stuff - couldn’t care less!
'nuff said.
That would make Camilla a “lady”?
I would call Kate a lucky lady, tell her to sell a book and marry a nice normal guy... :)
LOL! Thanks for the pictures (was curious). Very attractive.
I loved AbFab!
Good thing they never found out about Willy's American girlfriend from Missouri.
She says, "Howdy do" instead of "How do you do", "outhouse" instead of "lavatory" and "Do whuuuut?" instead of "what?
Impeccable behavior is moving in your boyfriend? sheeeeesh
I'm not a prude, but I wouldn't call that impeccable.
Maybe Mrs.Marty can offer her tea and cookies first :D
Sometimes (as in the case of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert) they fell in love afterwards.
But dynastic considerations were such that the pool of applicants is fairly small (and shallow).
Years ago, British royalty had to marry other royalty, but most of those are gone now, so they marry mostly into the peerage (Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon and Princess Di were technically 'commoners' but actually the daughters of earls). But those lines are dying out too, so it's only a matter of time before they have to marry into the dreaded 'middle class'.
A large part of the explanation for political correctness as well.
Errrr, yes. Of course.
*kaff*
“It is an old-fashioned concept, but Middleton’s fate is a salutary lesson for young women contemplating shacking up with the love of their lives rather than holding out for a firm commitment.
.....
“But the idea of “try before you buy” gives all the advantages to men, who get the benefits of marriage with none of the responsibilities. They get sex on tap, domesticity, companionship, and probably nutritional and hygiene improvements. They can test-drive the merchandise for as long as they like.
.....
“If Middleton had really wanted to marry William she never should have set up house with him. Smart girls don’t give away marital perks free.”
Absolutely, positively true. Here here, Dr. Laura.
Nothing is ever free. Some women girls use the milk as bait to establish a garuantied income for the next 18 years.
And then there is to issue of sexualy transmitted diseases.
Abstinance until matrimony has it's rewards, and isn't impossible nor difficult.
The problem is that being sexually active is being promoted as a sporting activity instead of one of the final acts committing to a life long relationship and beginning of a new familly group.
"Pardon" is derived from the phrase "I beg your pardon" which is what a presumed lesser would say to a presumed better who had power over them. It implies submissiveness; it is a request for forgiveness or leniency. Hoity-toity blue-blooders would consider it preferable to demand that someone repeat themselves ("What?") than admit some fault for not listening in the first place ("Pardon?").
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