-- attributed to Cora Harvey Armstrong
"What the hell happened?"
That crosses my mind and then I think, "better than the alternative."
An Army buddy used to set people up with a story of when he was a little boy. With his Mississippi accent he's tell how his grandma would set him on her knee and tell him about life. He described her as a nice old frail women who wore tennis shoes and chewed bubble gum with her false teeth. Then he'd repeat what she told him: "Boy, just remember, life is short and sweet . . and then yer a long time f'n dead!"