WORD FOR THE DAY, TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 2007, VISAGE

Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus. ^ | 02/27/07 | Slip 18

[sionnsar]

It is good to see your wizened visage in another venue, even if it is puffing on a noxious device.

I beg your pardon! It is not noxious, merely obnoxious (except, of course, to Englishmen):

The doctors confirmed his worst fears – he was dying of multiple organ failure. Both he and his wife became resigned to his imminent passing, but he told his wife he had one last request that would send him off happily.

“Love, get that wee piper to come in and play me some of those tunes we used to hear in the old country. That would be grand, I’d be smiling as I go in those pearly gates.”

So she gets permission and asks a bagpiping friend to do the honours. She waits in the canteen while the piper pipes - she doesn’t actually like the sound too much – and when he leaves she goes back to the ward. Her husband is sitting up in bed, a big smile on his visage, with all the doctors and ward staff gathered around looking rather glum.

“Eh, lass, I’m feeling so much better. Oh, but that were grand. Thank you, my dear, I reckon I could go back home, I feel so well.”

“That’s marvellous,” replies his wife, “but why is everyone else so sad?”

“Well, ma’am,” says the ward sister, “I’m afraid all the English patients died.”

[NicknamedBob]

Just so folks will understand our little repartee ...



The Inventor of the Bagpipe

His name was Cyrus Reedy,
And he’d been sent to Hell.
But Cyrus was a jolly sort,
And he just said, “Oh, well!”

“What’s there for entertainment, then?
Ha’e ye perhaps, a band?”
And he paid no attention to,
His shrill demon’s command.

He’d had a wife, he had, he had,
And she was wont to screech,
So by the time ‘e got to Hell,
His ears were out of reach.

The demon’s yells just made him laugh,
Until it lost its voice,
So Cyrus moved about with ease,
And roamed to suit his choice.

He found some stuff discarded round,
It gave the place its flavor,
But he was desperate for a sound,
That only he could savor.

He made up a contraption,
That made an awful wail,
The demons shunned him for the way,
Their ears he did assail.

He added bits and pieces,
The monster thing did grow,
And when he made the sound come out,
They said he had to go.

The threw him out of Hell, they did,
They couldn’t stand the noise,
And that’s why bagpipe music,
Is the kind that he enjoys.

NicknamedBob . . . . . November 14, 2006

[sig226]

No mullets for me, not ever.

[Soaring Feather]

Good poem. BTW, I love the pipes.

[NicknamedBob]

Global Warming poem up at post 69.

[Slip18]

I'm not a writer either, Darksheare. You dabble; I dribble.

[Slip18]

I wanna collaborate. Here's my first line:

"There once was a man from Nantucket"

Okay. Now you two make a poem so that I can add a fourth line.

[Slip18]

That dreaded bull tried to get my pants. Blood pouring off of me where he gored me. Oles from the audience. You'd think it was some kind of porn or something.

I just took off my boot and hit him right between the eyes. Down went the ebullboot.

[NicknamedBob]

I did this a couple of years ago. The challenge then was to make a clean limerick, after starting with that first line.

I did about six.


Lemme see ... *NnB positions tongue in just-so place ...*

[Slip18]

Things are wonderful!

Math ga riribh agus moran taing.

[NicknamedBob]

"There once was a man from Nantucket"

KFC had a line for a bucket.
He said, "I like chicken,
It's so finger-lickin'."
When it came up his turn, ...

[sionnsar]

"he up-chuck't"

Maybe you could get some buck$ for PETA for that...

[Slip18]

ROTFLMAO.

I'm so glad you're here. I wanted to tell you this story:

On the Christmas cruise there was a real pirate ship. You had to pay to get on the thing and there was music and dancing and lotsa drinking.

I noticed a guy in a kilt. I asked him where he was born. He was Celtic (hard C on the Cel). Anyway, I told him I was Irish. He asked me my mother's maiden name and her married name. Guess what? I'm Scotch, and that's what I drink. LOL!

So now I know I'm Scotch and Danish. I don't think they would taste too well together, though.

[Slip18]

I love the bagpipes! I also love where bagpipes are sometimes played, where it echos. Hello, hello, hello, hello hello, hello.

[Slip18]

I told you I had a mullet once. It looked good on me except the growing out of the short hair in front. Yuck. Took forever to grow out.

[Slip18]

There once was a man from Nantucket
He had no teeth but loved ice cream
He swished the ice cream upon his gums
But his gums got very sore
So he just swallowed the whole bucket.

Okay. Very, very bad. But I did rhyme Nantucket with something.

[Slip18]

Tears are streaming down my cheeks!

[NicknamedBob]

Come on people! The original poem, the clean one, had as its last line, "As for the bucket, Nan Tuck it!"

Alright, let's try this again.

"There once was a man from Nantucket,"
If he saw a quad clover he'd pluck it,
Where luck may be good his was best,
With good fortune inord'nately blessed,
And when something went wrong he'd "Good Luck" it!

[SoothingDave]

I was home sick. Darn kid bringing home viruses.

Did anyone quote Billy Idol? Les yeux sans visage

[secret garden]

Do any of you computer savants know how I can change my default printer? I accidentally set it on the wrong one the last time I tried to print and cannot get to the place where you reset it.