Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he’s knocked out or temporarily killed.
David Spade always says ‘yes’ to Jack Bauer when he wants to redeem his credit card miles.
Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.
Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.
There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who have not met Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed.
Jack Bauer can get a McDonald's breakfast after 10:30am.
When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. They are all Jack Bauer.