You are absolutely right. When homosexuals point to the divorce rate of heterosexual couples as a justification for gay marriage, the truthful response is that the divorce rate is deplorable. To demand gay marriage by attaching it to the bad behavior of those who made lifelong committments to another and broke those vows amounts to a weak argument. Two wrongs don't make a right.
PLEASE NOTE: I am NOT referring to those who have divorced for very good reasons. No one would expect a person to stay with an abusive spouse, and the abuse might not necessarily mean physical abuse.
But 50%? I don't believe they're all abuse cases. Maybe we should be looking at the wife who wants her job/career and the husband who wants the same. BUT, they also want a baby! A baby they give over to one of the Moms or to a daycare. Neither wants to stay home and be the prime caretaker of their own child! The career comes before the baby they HAD to have. In other words, they want it all.
If it's true that some (who?) touted the idea that divorce would be good for children (in some instances it would be the lesser of two evils, for sure), citing the two rooms, more brothers & sisters to play with, I never heard that nonsense.
While some of us had the insight and saw the consequences to children, due to divorce, amazingly it must have taken some others many years to wake up to it, and some still wear their selfish blinders.
What is their mantra? "If I'm happy, then my kids have to be happy." Unbelievable!
I would hope you're wrong that some children will be made to live with homosexual couples for a long time until it's proven that they have been messed up. Again, many of us already see the bad outcome, but we do not decide.
It's all very sad. Can we do more?
Unfortunately I don't remember where I read the bit about the child of divorce having two rooms, more toys, etc. I do remember that it was in one of those "Ladies Home Journal" types of magazines, but I didn't take note of what it was at the time. It was a journalist's article. It would take a bit of research to find actual sources (other than my own memory), and I'm probably too lazy to do it. It might be a topic for a graduate research paper.
You're right in noting that there are parents who treat their children like embellishments to their own self-fulfillment. We have a gay rights movement because our society is ripe for it. We've got acceptance of sex outside of marriage, birth control, cohabitation - all sorts of things that heterosexuals do make it possible for the gay rights movement to blossom and flourish.
In connection with ideas on how to combat this stuff, there isn't one quick fix. We could start by examining their methods. One of their methods (you can read this in "After the Ball: How America Will Overcome Its Fear and Loathing of Gays in the '90s" by Kirk and Madsen) is to assume the role of victim. If somebody calls you a homophobe for saying things like boys are best off when they have fathers, maybe you could say is that you feel hurt and intimidated by this insult. They talk about their feelings all the time! They want us to feel sorry for them while they call us racist bigots.
If you've got kids at home, monitor TV watching. I know that this can be difficult, but MTV is just one long porno commercial IMHO.
Getting involved in schools is a good idea. I've read posts from people on this site who examine books in their child's school library and bring it to the school's attention when they find books like "King to King", "Heather Has Two Mommies", etc.
There are various family groups, depending on your comfort level in working politically. Concerned Women for America is a Christian group. The American Family Institute has branch offices (Virginia Family Institute, etc.). There may be something in your home town. Here in my town, I helped a local group sort paper for their "pastor packets". This is not earth shattering work, but the pastor packets were being sent out in connection with the upcoming marriage amendment vote. There's a lot you can do. Just make your voice heard somehow.