The Obama Messiah Watch

Slate ^ | 1/29/2007 | Timothy Noah

[Mike Bates]

Is Barak Obama—junior U.S. senator from Illinois, best-selling author, Harvard Law Review editor, Men's Vogue cover model, and "exploratory" presidential candidate—the second coming of our Savior and our Redeemer, Prince of Peace and King of Kings, Jesus Christ? His press coverage suggests we can't dismiss this possibility out of hand. I therefore inaugurate the Obama Messiah Watch, which will periodically highlight gratuitously adoring biographical details that appear in newspaper, television, and magazine profiles of this otherworldly presence in our midst.

Today's item, from a Los Angeles Times profile by Larry Gordon about Obama's two years at Occidental College (before he transferred to Columbia):

In [political science professor Roger] Boesche's European politics class, [classmate Ken] Sulzer said he was impressed at how few notes [italics mine] Obama took. "Where I had five pages, Barry had probably a paragraph of the pithiest, tightest prose you'd ever see. … It was very short, very sweet. Obviously somebody almost Clintonesque in being able to sum a whole lot of concepts and place them into a succinct written style."

Readers are invited to submit similar details—Obama walking on water, Obama sating the hunger of 5,000 with five loaves and two fishes—from other Obama profiles.

[Mike Bates]

No doubt the Chicago Tribune and Sun-Times will be providing additional adorational material.

[Cecily]

"... which will periodically highlight gratuitously adoring biographical details that appear in newspaper, television, and magazine profiles of this otherworldly presence in our midst."


He might as well crank up a Hildebeast/Smartest Woman in the Universe Messiah Watch while he is at it. The lamestream media has given and will continue to give her the same treatment.

[Mike Bates]

Not to mention her suddenly developed delicious sense of humor. . . .

[Holicheese]

As someone said, "He is a God figure for the Athiests."

[Charles Henrickson]

I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE HIM
(From the musical, "Barack Obama Superstar")
Tune: "I Don't Know How to Love Him"

I don't know why I love him,
My Barack, my Obama;
I've been charmed, yes really charmed,
By his trim physique, so slim and sleek--
I'm awed by his mystique.

I don't know why he's running,
I don't see any substance;
No real plan, flash in the pan,
And I've heard such empty words before
That when I close my eyes
He's just a bore.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Don't you think it's rather shallow
I should vote for this fellow?
I'm the one who's always been
So pure, so pissed, so feminist;
I don't need men, oh no--
He scares me so.

But I like his face,
And I like his voice;
Makes my heartbeat race!
Makes me feel all moist!
I never thought I'd come to this:
Obama is my choice.

Yet, like in a romance novel,
I'm in love with a male model;
I've got to look! He signed my book!
My heart runs wild! I'll bear his child!
I want the world to know:
He's my "Big O"!
Obama, go!
I love you so!

[Southside_Chicago_Republican]

Hosanna, Obama
Bama Bama
Obama
Hosanna Obama!
Hey B.O., B.O.
You're one bad mo-fo
Bama Hosanna
Hey Superstar!

[Mathews]

No, he is not the Messiah, but he does fit the anti-christ bill to a tee.

[God luvs America]

isn't slate.com ridiculously liberal???

[Southside_Chicago_Republican]

I hope he isn't the Second Coming because, if he (or He) is, I'm in big trouble. Just the other day, in frustration at having to look at something like the eleventh photo of him and the third fawning news story about him in one edition of the daily paper, I exclaimed to my wife, "You know, in a way I hope these idiots get the s-n -f a b-tch elected and then he runs the whole works into the ground!"

O me of little faith.

[Mr. K]

Obama once healed my 'roids

[freespirited]

Compiled from Project Votesmart

Abortion Issues

2006 Senator Obama supported the interests of the Planned Parenthood 100 percent in 2006.

2005-2006 Senator Obama supported the interests of the National Right to Life Committee 0 percent in 2005-2006.

2005 Senator Obama supported the interests of the NARAL Pro-Choice America 100 percent in 2005.

2003 On the votes that the Illinois Planned Parenthood Council considered to be the most important in 2003, Senator Obama voted their preferred position 100 percent of the time.

2002 Based on information available in 2002, the Illinois Planned Parenthood Council chose to endorse Senator Obama.

Budget, Spending and Taxes

2005 Senator Obama supported the interests of the National Taxpayers Union 6 percent in 2005.

2005 Senator Obama supported the interests of the FreedomWorks 6 percent in 2005.

2005 Senator Obama supported the interests of the Americans for Tax Reform 0 percent in 2005.

2001-2002 On the votes that the National Taxpayers United of Illinois considered to be the most important in 2001-2002, Senator Obama voted their preferred position 10 percent of the time.

Civil Liberties

2005-2006 Senator Obama supported the interests of the American Civil Liberties Union 83 percent in 2005-2006.

Gun Issues

2005 Senator Obama supported the interests of the Gun Owners of America 0 percent in 2005.

2004 Based on lifetime voting records on gun issues and the results of a questionnaire sent to all state legislative candidates in 2004, the National Rifle Association Political Victory Fund assigned Senator Obama a grade of F (with grades ranging from a high of A+ to a low of F).

2002 Based on voting records and a questionnaire sent out to all state legislative candidates by Illinois Citizens for Handgun Control, Senator Obama was assigned a grade of A (with grades ranging from a high of A+ to a low of F).

2002 Based on lifetime voting records on gun issues and the results of a questionnaire sent to all state legislative candidates in 2002, the National Rifle Association Political Victory Fund assigned Senator Obama a grade of F (with grades ranging from a high of A+ to a low of F).

Immigration

2006 Senator Obama supported the interests of the American Immigration Lawyers Association 88 percent in 2006.

2005-2006 Senator Obama supported the interests of the U.S. Border Control 8 percent in 2005-2006.

2005 Senator Obama supported the interests of the Federation for American Immigration Reform 0 percent in 2005.

2003-2006 Senator Obama supported the interests of the Americans for Better Immigration 14 percent in 2003-2006.

Labor

2006 Senator Obama supported the interests of the Service Employees International Union 94 percent in 2006.

2005-2006 Senator Obama supported the interests of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers 100 percent in 2005-2006.

2005 Senator Obama supported the interests of the International Brotherhood of Boilermakers 100 percent in 2005.

2005 Senator Obama supported the interests of the Service Employees International Union 92 percent in 2005.

2005 Senator Obama supported the interests of the United Auto Workers 93 percent in 2005.

2005 Senator Obama supported the interests of the AFL-CIO 92 percent in 2005.

2005 Senator Obama supported the interests of the United Electrical Radio and Machine Workers, International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers, and the American Federation of State, County & Municipal Employees 100 percent in 2005.

[sully777]

And here I thought Boner from U-2 was the second advent

[sully777]

Obama (a parody of Evita)

Obama
Obama
Obama
Obama

Go buy me a vodka w/ orangina
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise
Don't keep your distance

[AmishDude]

Obama so smart...

...he didn't have to take notes in a wussy polysci class at a leftist university.

[al_c]

Messiah? Y'know ... the anti-Christ is supposed to be one heckuva person and will fool many into following him.

[Mike Bates]

It's got a good beat and you can dance to it.

[Mike Bates]

isn't slate.com ridiculously liberal???

Often, but that doesn't mean it's always wrong.

[Mike Bates]

Thanks for sharing that with us.

[Mike Bates]

Before accepting that position, Bono will have to check out the tax situation in Vatican City.

[Mike Bates]

Why, he's almost Clintonesque.