no one is gay
While no one appears flamboyant or openly gay, given that a majority of the players come from California, odds are good at least one is. So strike one.
no lawyers
Nope! One is a lawyer and another one works for lawyers. Strike two.
no tattoos
That may be the case, but not what I was looking for. You are getting close however, in that it has something to do with appearances.
No blondes. Except maybe the gray haired guy used to be blond.
Crap - checked the replies and didn't see it had been answered.