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Panda is too heavy to have sex (Weird But True)
New York Post ^
| January 15, 2007
| TATIANA DELIGIANNAKIS
Posted on 01/15/2007 7:42:48 AM PST by DogByte6RER
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"Pandas" by Corky and the Juice Pigs
White and black, the friendly bears of China
White and black, they rarely reproduce
What shall be done about these Chinese bears?
What shall be done about these friendly bears?
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Yay!
Why should we save them?
What good do they do?
Have you ever seen a panda
Do something good for you?
They can't wear t-shirts,
They can't bounce basketballs
They can't walk tightropes
Over Niagra Falls
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
You fat bastard!
All endangered species
Leave endangered feces
If you knew how bad they smelled
You would gladly take their pelt
If we kill them all
We can have more parking lots
We can have small couches
Made of little ocelots
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
Die, they must die
The pandas must die
2
posted on
01/15/2007 7:44:24 AM PST
by
DogByte6RER
("Loose lips sink ships")
To: DogByte6RER
a special diet for Chuang Chuang - replacing loaves of bread with low-fat bamboo branches. Did anybody point out to them that pandas in the wild eat bamboo, not bread?
3
posted on
01/15/2007 7:45:30 AM PST
by
Izzy Dunne
(Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
To: DogByte6RER
Why on earth are the feeding panda loaves of bread? I thought zoos were paranoid about keeping their animals diest *natural*.
4
posted on
01/15/2007 7:45:33 AM PST
by
metmom
(Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
5
posted on
01/15/2007 7:46:00 AM PST
by
DogByte6RER
("Loose lips sink ships")
To: metmom
Maybe its a Panda version of "Soylent Green"...
6
posted on
01/15/2007 7:47:09 AM PST
by
DogByte6RER
("Loose lips sink ships")
To: DogByte6RER
7
posted on
01/15/2007 7:48:09 AM PST
by
SIDENET
(Everybody was kung-fu fighting)
To: DogByte6RER
Other than my next door neighbor's herd of dogs, Pandas are the dumbest creatures on God's Green Earth.
I saw them at the National Zoo awhile back. Slow and dirty animals...I didn't understand what made them so special.
8
posted on
01/15/2007 7:48:47 AM PST
by
wbill
To: Izzy Dunne
So they created a special diet for Chuang Chuang - replacing loaves of bread with low-fat bamboo branches.Yeah, *special diet*- what they eat in the wild. Now they're the heros for helping the pandas for figuring this out because they *created* a special diet that would help them lose weight.
bangs head on desk
9
posted on
01/15/2007 7:49:16 AM PST
by
metmom
(Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
To: Slings and Arrows
10
posted on
01/15/2007 7:50:11 AM PST
by
metmom
(Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
To: wbill
Other than my next door neighbor's herd of dogs, Pandas are the dumbest creatures on God's Green Earth. I saw them at the National Zoo awhile back. Slow and dirty animals...I didn't understand what made them so special.
That remark makes me a SAAAAD panda...
11
posted on
01/15/2007 7:51:05 AM PST
by
JRios1968
(Tagline wanted...inquire within)
To: DogByte6RER
"Panda porn."
I must have missed that episode of Jerry Springer. He has had larger mammals on his show discussing their mating habits.
12
posted on
01/15/2007 7:53:25 AM PST
by
IamConservative
(Any man who agrees with you on everything, will lie to anyone.)
To: DogByte6RER
So they're telling us millions of years ago the panda not only learned how to make fire, but also learned to grow, harvest, grind, and mix wheat into a dough and placed it in their clay ovens to bake until it forms a nice golden crust?
13
posted on
01/15/2007 7:54:06 AM PST
by
mtbopfuyn
(I think the border is kind of an artificial barrier - San Antonio councilwoman Patti Radle)
To: SIDENET
"too heavy to have sex"
14
posted on
01/15/2007 7:56:08 AM PST
by
DogByte6RER
("Loose lips sink ships")
To: IamConservative
15
posted on
01/15/2007 8:00:46 AM PST
by
DogByte6RER
("Loose lips sink ships")
To: DogByte6RER
Zookeepers had planned to show the pair "panda porn"
If they want, they can borrow a selection or two from my extensive library. LOL.
(Seriously, did it change the course of anyone else's day to learn that "panda porn" exists?.. heh heh)
16
posted on
01/15/2007 8:21:22 AM PST
by
Bones75
To: DogByte6RER
17
posted on
01/15/2007 8:22:10 AM PST
by
SubGeniusX
("BLAMMO! Eyes melt, skin explodes, everybody dead!")
To: DogByte6RER
Corky and the Juice Pigs were and are one of the best things about Mad TV.
I'm the Only Gay Eskimo is a piece of sheer brilliance.
18
posted on
01/15/2007 8:43:41 AM PST
by
RepoGirl
("Tom, I'm getting dead from you, but I'm not getting Un-dead..." -- Frasier Crane)
To: RepoGirl
Yeah...I know what you're saying.
Ahytime I come across a news story or something else about pandas, that little ditty by Corky and the Juice Pigs always gets stuck in my head...
19
posted on
01/15/2007 9:04:48 AM PST
by
DogByte6RER
("Loose lips sink ships")
To: DogByte6RER
Here's one that's too fat and too ugly to have sex:
20
posted on
01/15/2007 10:44:13 AM PST
by
Bon mots
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