Exactly!
I am reminded of something David Horowitz said about the left -- and why can it not be true of the many former liberals, who though welcomed on the right side should have left their nasty left habits when they came right. People like Mr. Medved for example.
Mr. Horowitz said that for the left, "The issue is not the issue."
Now I've always taken that to mean that issues are weapons.
Thus we indeed do have to "defend wanting to discuss the topic" but even before that we have to discuss the "issue" of whether we are or are not all those names they call us.
"This is done purposefully." Yes it is.
Horowitz also very succinctly described those people who, unable to defend their own positions, simply question the motives of their detractors thinking it is enough.