Posted on 01/03/2007 6:07:54 PM PST by mcg2000
Notre Dame announced today that it will earmark the $4.5 million dollar check the school will receive for participating in the Sugar Bowl to build head football coach Charlie Weis a space-age belt that has a better chance of containing his girth long-term.
“This is a safety issue above all else,” said Notre Dame athletic director Kevin White. “We are doing this to protect our players, students, faculty and everyone in the Notre Dame community because one day soon the current eight-foot strip of leather he is currently wearing will break free and injury a lot of people. And trust me, if that were to happen and kill some students, we’d be on the hook for a lot more than $4.5 million.”
Notre Dame began meeting with NASA scientists and large engineering firms such as Halliburton in recent weeks to formulate a strategy to safely contain Weis’s midsection.
“I am excited about the proposals that are on the table,” said Rev. John Jenkins, Notre Dame’s president. “Not only will this project help Charlie, but it will advance the level of research being done at this university. There is some really cutting-edge stuff being worked on right now.”
Dr. Robert McGovern, the lead NASA scientist assigned to the project, says the material that will be used in the belt was designed as a sort of strap that would enable one rescue spacecraft to tow another larger, incapacitated craft through space in both zero gravity and then back to earth through the intense Gs of re-entry.
“The strap is tested to withstand 138 million pounds of stress, but I think with a few modifications we can get it up to the strength we’d need for Mr. Weis,” said Dr. McGovern. “And if not, maybe we can have him wear several of the devices at once.”
Weis says he is excited about the project and hopes it will finally outfit him with the safe, functional and comfortable belt he has searched for his whole life.
“I can’t wait until the folks from Halliburton install the thing on me,” said Weis. “I just hope it’s not too tight and that they account for a little bit of extra pressure because I always like to wedge some Tastykakes or a few slices of pizza into my pants to nibble on, and I plan to keep doing that.”
ROFL!
"Coach Donut" indeed.
He gained back all the weight?
From Wikipedia:
"Charlie Weis has filed a malpractice suit against five Massachusetts General surgeons who performed a gastric bypass operation that went awry in 2002.
"Weis weighed over 300 pounds and had tried Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, the Atkins Diet, the Cabbage Soup diet and many other weight-loss schemes when he finally opted for the radical stomach-stapling surgery as a last resort. Weis was in a coma for two weeks and received last rites from a priest after he suffered excessive bleeding, septic shock, adult respiratory distress syndrome and ongoing leg problems as a result of care at MGH that his lawsuit charges "fell below the accepted standards."
"Weis said his father died at age 56 after a second heart attack and he feared he would suffer a similar fate if he didn't take drastic action to reduce his weight.
Big guy, damn good coach.
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