[decal]

I can remember when there was no such thing as "Festivus."

THOSE were the days, let me tell you!

[TWfromTEXAS]

Last year my Festivus pole was stolen and is now in a local strip club. Given that I neither drink nor care for hookers, I shall never see it again. I get sad just thinking about it!

[JennysCool]

They're playing your song!

[Jaysun]

My worst Festivus story took place last year.

I don't remember much before or after the incident, because it "just happened".

He was just south of seven feet tall and half as wide from east to west. He stunk like hot garbage and he drooled so much as to thoroughly wet his own chest. There he was, just slobbering and staring at me. So I did what any man might do. I stripped myself naked and started doing the "macarena".

It wasn't long before he responded with several growls and even more slobber. Then, all at once, I came to the realization that this was a stare down. So I took a four point stance, the way we used to do in football, and stared him in the eyes. I stared and stared and the wind began to make me tired, but I kept on. We both knew, somehow, that the first one that blinked would surely die. And so it was the battle of the blinks. And then I grew tired. And weary. And dry in the eyes.

So I put my elbows upon my knees so as to not ruin my stance, and I raised my hands to my eyes and used my thumbs and forefingers to keep my lids open and prevent a blink. He did the same.

And then he started to suck wind through his nose like no beast before him. And tears came to his eyes. And he finally sneezed, and not even his meaty fingers could prevent his blinking. And as he fell to Hell I heard him say, "....................damn."

Well, damn you, Festivus monster. Damn you to Hell.

[dandelion]

Ah, Festivus memories!

My husband introduced me to the idea of Festivus; it was just the two of us, and I was all prepared for "the airing of grievances"...

but then I set eyes upon his large and unusually sturdy Festivus pole, with it's exceptionally high strength-to-weight ratio. I was so awestruck by it's plain unadorned poleness I forgot the grievance I was to air. Immediately thereafter, I lost the "feats of strength" wrestling match I had with him, and had nothing better to do for a long time.

Oh Festivus!

[sully777]

Gallo wine is $5.95 a gallon...

It's another Festivus miracle!!!

[sully777]

[stylecouncilor]

ping

[Vision]

We will get to the feats of strength as soon as I tell everyone how you disappointed me this year.

[MotleyGirl70]

[NeoCaveman]

Is it time for the airing of grievances yet?