More comments like that and you might need to visit here, 'cause you might be up that creek as far as Santa is concerned....
Posted on 12/08/2006 2:21:22 AM PST by sully777
I have put 3700 lights on this monster so now when I turn it on I don't have to use the regular lights in the living room.
I'll post a picture of the monster next week.
More comments like that and you might need to visit here, 'cause you might be up that creek as far as Santa is concerned....
Why Women Are Crabby
We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. Then came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.
Next, we got our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push our uterus through our nostrils -- IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse -- leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we peed our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we
had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the %*#!* (and
hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
Then come their "Teen Years." Need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's -- while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: "Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or sweat like a hog in July, wash our sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without
soaking their socks...
So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make even the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.
Have the 'ol man climb the ladder and put the angel on top...or at least have your kid/nephew do it....A Christmas tree with out an angel on top is still considered nude....And who wants a nude chistmas
I want to post a picture of the boat, but won't have the use of the digital camera until my wife opens it on Christmas.
Good thing she isn't a Freeper.
tree??
I bet you'll have to turn the AC down another couple of degres just to handle the heat!
Gonna go shop for the dog this weekend.
Finally, the workday is done. Time to pick up my darling(?) 5 1/2 year old (going on 15) daughter and go home. She'll be mad because she lost the priviledge of using the computer due to her attitude last night. Bright spot: she has cheer practice from 5 to 6:30 tonight. And hour and a half just the wife and I!!!!
We'll probably go grocery shopping.
Anyway, have a great weekend!!!!
Buh-bye!
Glad you clarified that!!!
Lucky you!!! All I had to shop for was my G/F, MY daughter, the G/F's daughter, the dog, both cats, and, of coarse, myself....I kinda miss being single around this time of year....
Alone time in the grocery store......Kinky!!!
Bye Fred, have a great weekend!
I think cash is the best way to go with most of the other nephews and nieces.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.