"Regardless of when slavery was ended, the country would still be faced with the social problem of what to do with all those free blacks suddenly wandering around. The North didn't want them, free or slave. The South sure didn't want them as free men and women. It's hard to imagine what sort of solution could have been found."
I guess any sollution seems preferable to all the death and destruction, but I'm probably just living some pipe dream that there could have been any other way. If the North couldn't come up with any fair sollution for African Americans, then they are equally as culpable.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda is easy to play when we're blessed with 20/20 hindsight. Perhaps had both sides know what the cost would be there wouldn't have been a war but I doubt it. I think it was one of those issues that was never going to be settled peacefully.