Used a lot of bandwidth on that first page. Time for a wee Irish joke:
Should You Become A Democrat?
The following 25 questions should help people determine if they should join the Democratic party. Feel free to share it with friends and family members and if they find themselves answering "yes" to most of the questions below, then the Democrats are the party for them.
Are you...
...speaking out against every security measure that President Bush proposes because you claim it will turn America into a "police state" while simultaneously planning to criticize Bush for not doing enough to protect us when we're inevitably hit with another terrorist attack?
...convinced that killing a baby in the womb in OK, while killing a serial killer is wrong?
...terribly disturbed by the idea that Europe might not be happy with us, but fairly indifferent to threat that terrorists present?
...of the opinion that those racist, warmongering, Fascist, Nazi-like, heartless, moronic, evil, Republicans are mean spirited hatemongers?
...horrified when you hear about dolphins being killed in a tuna net, but unperturbed by a woman aborting her own baby?
...wondering if we can "afford" a tax cut while supporting every expensive, new social program proposed in Congress?
...worried that the electronic voting machines might be rigged, but unconcerned about people voting without a picture ID?
...against a draft if it's needed by the military to field a fighting force, but for a draft if it's proposed by anti-war Democrat in an attempt to undercut support for war?
...terrified by the idea of global warming, but only minimally concerned about stopping terrorists who want to release biological weapons in the US?
...opposed to cutting taxes on the middle class and the poor if it means that the rich will get a tax cut as well?
Do you...
...criticize Republicans because you think they judge people by the color of their skin, yet support Affirmative Action?
...think that UN approval was irrelevant when Bill Clinton wanted to go into Kosovo, but that our invasion of Iraq will be "illegitimate" if the UN doesn't approve?
...support going to war for "humanitarian" reasons unless our country will also benefit in some way, in which case you're strongly against it?
...claim that you want a strong economy, yet support almost every regulation & tax increase that comes down the pike?
...enjoy going to anti-war rallies run by Communists who oppose everything our country stands for?
...tend to trust things said by blood thirsty & unbalanced dictators more than you do things said by your own President -- provided that he's a Republican?
...believe that trial lawyers who win outrageous malpractice judgements against doctors and drive up medical costs for the rest of us are really "sticking up for the little guys" who end up paying the bills?
...feel that banning handguns would be a more effective crime fighting tool than severely punishing criminals & "three strikes and you're out" laws?
...think that nations like Iran, Iraq, and North Korea are only minor annoyances and that the United States is actually the greatest threat to world peace?
...point to David Duke, a former Klansman who never won an office above state legislator, as evidence of racism in the Republican party, while believing that having Robert Byrd in the Senate doesn't reflect negatively on the Democratic party?
...admire the "human shields" who went to Baghdad, but think protests in front of abortion clinics should be banned?
...believe that we're rushing to war with Iraq despite the fact that the UN has been trying to convince Saddam to disarm for more than 12 years?
...think Ann Coulter is mean spirited, vicious, & shrill, but Maureen Dowd, Ted Rall, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, John Pilger, Margo Kingston, Tom Daschle, Noam Chomsky, Arianna Huffington, Molly Irvins, Eric Alterman & James Carville (among many others) are nice, sweet-natured, and reasonable?
...tend to be minimally concerned about the victims and potential victims of terrorists, but very concerned about how the terrorists are treated after they're caught?
...feel that the rich must have inherited their money, gotten lucky, or cheated someone to earn their wealth, but that it's society's fault that people are poor?
The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 250 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly.
The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the doctor.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right... but I'll stick with my Moped!"
Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the Speedometer reads 150 mph.
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear View mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what It could be and suddenly. WHHHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH! Something whips by him going much faster!
"What on earth could be Going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself. He floors the Accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 175 mph. Then, up ahead of Him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped! Amazed that the Moped Could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 210 Mph. WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH!
He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the Old man gaining on him AGAIN! Astounded by the speed of his old guy, he floors the gas pedal and Takes the Ferrari all the way up to 250 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do! Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.
The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old Man is still alive. He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh My Gosh! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man whispers, "Unhook my suspenders from your side view Mirror.
LOL!!
Over here, those jokes normally go: "Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman, and Paddy Scotsman...."!