BTTT
Out of my depths,
the darkness of my sin,
the darkness of being separated,
the darkness of doubt,
of chosing self over God,
the depths of my own hubris,
I cry to thee, O Lord!
You, the last anchor I know,
the first truth that I learned,
the light I long for,
the truth I hunger for --
You, Lord,
You who I have slighted so often,
You who knows my every move,
You who knows,
You -
I cry to Thee -
Forgive me, O Lord,
O Lord, hear my prayer.
Lord, hear my voice,
You who hear all,
You who cry out in the garden for the weight of all our sin,
You who offer your wrists up to the executioner's nails,
You who offer your back to the scourge,
Your face to the mocking,
You who hear me crying out in the darkness
when I think it is only me,
But it is always, always two,
You and I.
In the bitterness of my tears,
Through my remorse, the haze of self-pity,
awaken my heart, O Lord,
forgive me my failings --
change me!
In the sorrow for my shortcomings,
tasting of ash in the light,
when You show me my reality,
heal me!
In the darkness of my grieving,
shaking with the pain of loss,
when You let me know that I am but dust,
and You are life,
and You are reality,
and I am not master,
hold me, O my Lord.
Mold me,
Shape me,
and let me be
as You would have me to be,
transformed by Your love
cruciform,
a love big enough to give all
a love big enogh to drink the dregs of sorrow
a love big enough
to transform the whole world,
tear by tear
to bring that final joy.
Amen.