Teen Arrested for Raping His Mother

Albertville, Ala. -- Police say a Marshall County teen raped his mother to get revenge on his brother.

Police say 19-year-old Gary Helms, Jr., raped his 45-year-old mother this past weekend at Willow Terrace Trailer Park on Doyle Drive in Albertville.

"From what we understand the rape stemmed from an argument between him and his brother. And apparently they were arguing over a girlfriend. And the rape was some sort of retaliation towards his brother," said Sgt. Jamie Smith of the Albertville Police Department.

Authorities say Helms' mother was apparently passed out drunk on the couch when the rape started.

"During the attack she did come to and recognize her attacker. (Reporter: As her son?) As her son," said Smith.

That's when, according to the police report, the mother "tried to get away, but he held her down until he was finished."

"Shocked, shocked would be more a better way to describe it. That somebody would dip to the lows to do something of this nature. It's just pretty much a shock to the conscience of the general public," said Smith.

I will have to settle for the old version, this sound card has quit. This was on the news last week and "Alice's Restaurant Massacre" was the first thing I thought of.

"Kid, I want
you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench."

The 1995 rerecording of this song (on the anniversay of thirty Thanksgivings since the day of the original incident) , appearing as "Alice's Resturant (The Massacree Revisited)", while essentially faithful to the 1967 original, does differ in a few places, being a live retelling of the massacree. Aside from the editing of the line regarding what happens to the pair of people of people who walk into the shrink's office (a wonderful illustration of the way liberalism has evolved over the years), the most notable change is the addendum inspired by the passing of former president Richard M. Nixon. It comes in right as he chides the audience after singing the chorus with them...

"You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
(Arlo drops out)
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

No, nooo! You can't start singing loud just at the end if I quit singing! You would've thought after all this time you'd've learned by now! If you wanna end war and stuff you've gotta sing loud all the time, so people can hear you!

Now, I know this is a long song, believe me, I know how long it is, even on the record when it come out it was pretty long, what, eighteen minutes like I said or something, and I'm not sitting here trying to make it any longer, but I can feel it. I know there's people sitting in this very room tonight that don't believe that songs can change the world, or that songs can change the destiny of nations.

I don't blame you. I wouldn't have thought so myself. 'Course I know something that some of you may not know, but I was reminded of it during the last election, see, I remembered when Jimmy Carter was elected President, 'cause I got an invitation to his inauguration, and I knew I had to go, 'cause I knew it'd be the only one I ever got. Been right so far. But I went down to Washinton, D.C. -- I ain't making this up now, this is real -- I went down to Washington, and it's just like you see on TV, people partying and stuff, and everything was fine until along toward evening somebody come around, tapped me on the shoulder, and I turned around, and it was Chip Carter, the President's son.

I said, "Hi, Chip!" -- I recognized him, he was about my age -- he said,

"Arlo, I've been looking everywhere for you."

I said, "Chip, how come?"

He said, "Arlo, I've got something very important to tell you."

And I said, "Chip, what is it?"

He said, "Arlo, we were moving our stuff into the White House, and in the Nixon Record Library we found a copy of your record, Alice's Restaurant."

I looked at Chip Carter, I looked deep into the man's soul and I said, "Chiiii-iiiiip! Was it opened?"

And it slow motion he noded, yes, it had been opened. Now I want you folks to know that I did not think about that for a long time, until recently, when we was all thinking 'bout Richard Nixon when he passed away, and... I see some people here who may not know, see, but Richard Nixon was the President of the United States, and he used to like to tape stuff. I mean, if you can imagine a world before cassette decks and VCRs was everywhere, you can imagine a man who was truly ahead of his time! He taped everything that went on in the White House, and everything was fine until one day they started playing back the tapes! People found out what was going on in there! But it wasn't anything that was on any tape that got the man in trouble, so much as it was what he had erased from the tapes, and there was one particular famous gap in one of the tapes that I was thinking about one night, when I said to myself,

"Arlo, how many things in the world are eighteen minutes and twenty seconds long?"

Well? How many things in the world ARE exactly eighteen minutes and twenty seconds long? Probably just a coincidence, but it's good enough for me.

So when the song comes around on the guitar, remember that songs can change the destiny of nations, even if it's only by coincidence. You just have to know the words, have the feeling, and wait for it come around again on the guitar..."

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