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To: Jimmy Valentine
I'm sorry if I came off like a b!tch in my previous answer to you. I do have some sympathy for men who are so hungry for a woman's love that they will try nearly everything. I've been that lonely myself at times, from the other side of the divide.

I can just about guarantee that any woman you meet is going to be at least somewhat interested in how well-off you are, regardless of whether she wants to be a traditional stay-at-home wife and mother or out there in the outside-the-home working world--and regardless of whether she's American or foreign.

If she wants to be a traditional wife and mother, she wants to know that she can depend on the man to support her financially while she takes care of the house and kids. If she is very traditional, and if she is into status at all, the man's status in the working world will rub off on her... plus it will give her the material goodies she wants. Plus, if the man dies at an untimely early age, she wants to know that she won't suddenly be destitute.

So... there are reasons why a woman will want to know about your job and assets and your ability to take care of the financial side of life--and they don't all amount to gold-digging (even if she is American).

You could look at it this way: Here in the West, we expect to fall in love with our mate and then marry, whereas in a lot of places marriages have been arranged for other reasons. But still, in effect, the man is "hiring" the woman to be his wife and his kids' mother; and, perhaps unfortunately, the rent, mortgage, utility, grocery, and other bills have to be paid with money, not the ethereal glow of your endless love.

If a woman wants to have an outside job, well, she still will be interested in your earning power, because more than likely she will not be willing to support you. That's unfair, but there it is. Many women who have an outside job don't want to put in as many hours as men will (I'm thinking of those 100-hour weeks for which doctors are famous). Most women will want to make more time for a personal life.

I've also heard some women say that they can't respect a man if he makes less money than she does. Money equals power, and it is still as true in today's world as ever. I'm not saying that I totally agree with that, but that it's something I've observed.

I've paid more than half of the bills in some relationships (I supported my man through an online training course so he could retrain to work in my occupation), but I would be very reluctant to do so again. (I will add that I have not been supported financially by any man since I left home.)

To automatically assume that all American women are unfit to be wives and mothers is just as foolish to automatically assume that all foreign women are perfect candidates for wives and mothers.

I've said this before... There are something like three hundred million people in this country, more than half of them women, and some men slam them ALL as being unfit or too materialistic?

But sometimes the same men are then willing to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to meet and marry women from another country, someone whom they might just pick out of a catalogue? And they *assume* that those women will always be as docile, etc., as they were the first time they met, and that those women will never be or become as "greedy" as those American women they have rejected (again, without knowing them)?

Sorry, but I just don't get it.

19 posted on 10/27/2006 1:38:46 PM PDT by pbmaltzman
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To: pbmaltzman
I can just about guarantee that any woman you meet is going to be at least somewhat interested in how well-off you are, regardless of whether she wants to be a traditional stay-at-home wife and mother or out there in the outside-the-home working world--and regardless of whether she's American or foreign.

This point is absolutely true. Marrying for love while ignoring $$ is the domain of the young or the foolish.

21 posted on 10/27/2006 1:44:12 PM PDT by Centurion2000 (To liberals: Dead enemies need no political or diplomatic solutions.)
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