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Narrator: June the 4th, 1973. It was much like any other summer's day in Petersburg, and Ralph Melish, a file clerk at an insurance company, was on his way to work as usual when...

(Dramatic music)...nothing happened!

Scarcely able to believe his eyes, Ralph Melish looked down. But one glance confirmed his suspicions. Behind a bush on the side of the road, there was no severed arm, no dismembered trunk of a man in his late fifties, no head in a bag, nothing...not a sock.

For Ralph Melish, this was not to be the start of any trail of events which would not, in no time at all, involve him in neither a tangled knot of suspicion nor any web of lies, which would, had he been not uninvolved, surely have led to no other place than the central criminal court of the old bailiff.

(Sound of gavel banging)

Narrator: But it was not to be. Ralph Melish reached his office in Dallezll Street, Petersburg, at 9:05 am. Exactly the same time as he usually got in.

Secretary: Morning Mr. Melish.

Melish: Morning Enid.

Narrator: Enid, a sharp eyed, clever young girl, who had been with the firm for only 4 weeks, couldn't help noticing the complete absence of tiny but telltale bloodstains on Mr. Melish's clothing. Nor did she notice anything strange in Mr. Melish's behavior that whole morning! Nor the next morning. Nor at any time before or since the entire period she worked with that firm.

Melish: Have the new paper clips arrived Enid?

Secretary: Yes, they're over there Mr. Melish.

Narrator: But for the lack of any untoward circumstances for this young secretary to notice, and the total non-involvement of Mr. Melish in anything illegal. The full weight of the law would have ensured that Ralph Aldis Mellish would have ended up like all who challenge the fundamental laws of our society: IN AN IRON COFFIN WITH SPIKES ON THE INSIDE!!!