Well said!
A handgun or rifle or shotgun is just a tool and like any tool you must work with it to become proficient.
You will know when you and your wife are ready to handle a weapon in a shoot/no shoot situation when you don't have to "think" about what to do, you just automatically do it.
"This" takes LOTS of practice. If you are not willing to put in that time and effort then do not carry a weapon. Because you may end up being worse off.
It is not as hard as it sounds it just takes time and patients.
. A good first lesson on a weapon is learning about loading, unloading and safety catch operation. To know how to check if a weapon is loaded and to know if the safety is on or off, etc. When one is comfortable with these steps and can do it all quickly and efficiently without having to think about each step, then move on to shooting procedures.
I have seen too many people want to get right to making bang bang noises and have no idea about "safeing the weapon" once they are done firing.
"It is not as hard as it sounds it just takes time and patients."
LOL Let's hope more patience than patients.