Drunk man's violent bacon roll attack

Surrey On Line ^ | October 5, 2006

[JimSEA]

No idea what the heck a "bacon roll" is, but it sounds tasty.

With the nanny state attitude on Junk food, the drunk is lucky he wasn't charged with assault with a deadly weapon. :)

[csvset]

managed to turn his life around

Isn't that special.

[Billthedrill]

Andre Cartwright, 36, had drunk 1.5 litres of vodka and a litre of Jack Daniels whiskey the night before...

Who needs a bacon roll? His breath alone was a deadly weapon.

[xJones]

Some days someone finally has to do all the heavy lifting and pasting. This is a British breakfast bacon roll ad:

And there's other photos of those British bacon rolls, all of which indicate that the man's cheeks were well padded when he got hit.

[RepoGirl]

Bacon Roll Attack -- wasn't that some hardcore metal band?

[lesser_satan]

If not, it sure as hell should have been.

BTW, did you watch the new SP last night?

[RepoGirl]

Missed it, unfortunately. And for no damn good reason, either.

[Kenny Bunk]

I don't know how you politically incorrect VRWC people can take this attack so lightly.

Let us suppose that the vic in this case were a Muslim. An infidel pepetrator, armed with a pork product, could cause mental anguish. It would be a Hate Crime.

What next, infidel crusaders? Dropping Bacon Butties on suspected al-qaida strongholds? Forcing young Muslim athletes to toss around the old pigskin? The sooner you submit to the Will of Allah, the sooner you will enjoy pork-free peace.

[Allegra]

Bacon roll attacks are very serious things and should never be taken lightly. This should have had very harsh consequences.

{muffled snickering...}

[Slings and Arrows]

Could be a handy trick for Baghdad.

[Allegra]

Could be a handy trick for Baghdad.

Yep, it sure could. Emphasis on the "bacon" part.

I'd have to learn how to drink one liter of vodka and 1.5 liters of Jack Daniels successively first.

I'd better get practicing...

[Larry Lucido]

I was picturing a fruit roll-up, but made of bacon.

[Allegra]

I was picturing a fruit roll-up, but made of bacon.

Hey...that sounds like it would be GOOD!

[Larry Lucido]

Andre Cartwright

"Cartwright! Cartwright!!"

"Excuse me, did a girl call for me""

"Yes, I yell 'Cartwright,' you no answer, I tell her you no here, she say cuss word and hang up."

[Larry Lucido]

[SoldierDad]

Evening, Allegra. Hope you're well and all's quiet in Baghdad.

[Allegra]

My sainted aunt's grape juice! How was he able to stay upright much less mobile?

My first question was...how was he still ALIVE? Day-um!

[Allegra]

Morning, Soldier Dad!

It's a quiet, peaceful sunny morning so far. Coming up on 9 a.m.

The standard Friday driving curfew is in effect until 3 p.m. Of course, that hasn't stopped them before.

[SoldierDad]

It's great to hear that all's quiet as of now. It's going on 11:00pm here in Northern CA. My son hasn't sent any further word since his email of this past Tuesday. I pray he's alright.

[RepoGirl]

I was picturing a fruit roll-up, but made of bacon.

::Repogirl throwing head back, drooling, in a perfect imitation of her idol, Homer J. Simpson::

"Mmmmm...rolled bacon ..."