Ahem.
Mwahahahahahahahaha!
Ha!
If you've ever seen orange cones on the highway,
They're ours.
If you've ever seen those electronic signs,
They're ours.
We're preparing to put subliminal messages on them to control you as you drive.
We call it the "Burma Shave" strategy.
We will not actually have a Congress or a President,
We will have a Supreme Emperor (me),
President of Weather (Kevin)
Foreman (Mike)
And an elaborate bureaucratic structure with all the maddening efficiency of the DMV.
We will ban any maps or graphs that are not ultra-colorful.
We are already starting.
See that road construction?
Us.
Notice how the US bills are changing?
We did that. We hate pure green.
Notice how Canadians speak English, too? (More or less)
We did that. We've shamed the "eh" out of them, too.
Who dug the Rio Grande?
We did. Our conspiracy runs all the way back to the Aztecs.
But our calendar goes all the way to 2999.
Mwahahahahahahahaha.
Ha.