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Reverend slams Simpsons: "Their breasts will sag and their faces will wither"
NineMSN ^ | 09/19/2006

Posted on 09/19/2006 1:33:01 PM PDT by LA Woman3

Adding to Jess's troubles is news that she and her sister Ashlee have been attacked by a Christian minister for using sex to sell their CDs. Although Jessica's and Ashlee's raunchy film clips and photo shoots are no sexier than the work of their pop peers, the Reverend Bob Harrington has singled the girls out for criticism because their father and manager, Joe, was once a Baptist preacher himself.

"They don't represent American standards and certainly not Christian standards," fumes the Texan minister.

"Their father has replaced his faith in the Lord with the love of money, which is the root of all evil. He has replaced holiness with horniness.

"[Jessica and Ashlee] will reap the dismal crops they are sowing. Their breasts will sag and their faces will wither and they will be left with nothing but a hollow shell."

Although Jess has laughed off his extreme comments, sources say the singers have lost many of their Christian fans in the US because of Jess's divorce and Ashlee's recent sexy makeover.

"Marketing Jessica as a sex kitten was all Joe's idea and it's backfired," notes an insider. "And Ashlee is going down the same road. Joe's marketing plan was simple — sex sells.

"But it looks like they've lost a lucrative segment of their record buyers along the way."


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: ashleesimpson; jessicasimpson

1 posted on 09/19/2006 1:33:02 PM PDT by LA Woman3
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To: LA Woman3
Their breasts will sag and their faces will wither and they will be left with nothing but a hollow shell."

That's assuming they're real.

2 posted on 09/19/2006 1:40:06 PM PDT by gov_bean_ counter ( I am sitting under my cone of silence, inside a copper wire cage wearing a tin foil hat...)
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To: LA Woman3

Man, leave those girls alone.


3 posted on 09/19/2006 1:41:30 PM PDT by Gordongekko909 (Mark 5:9)
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To: LA Woman3

Ashlee's already been punished--she has to listen to her own voice singing...


4 posted on 09/19/2006 1:42:55 PM PDT by BeHoldAPaleHorse ( ~()):~)>)
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To: LA Woman3
Their breasts will sag and their faces will wither and they will be left with nothing but a hollow shell.

I guess he doesn't like older ladies.

5 posted on 09/19/2006 1:43:13 PM PDT by Dracian
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To: LA Woman3

So sagging breasts is a curse from God for being sexy and provocative? I thought it was a punishment for having children and breast feeding them. I suppose the two are somewhat related, but still...


6 posted on 09/19/2006 1:44:44 PM PDT by shempy (EABOF)
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To: LA Woman3
Ten years from now, Poppa Simpson will be happily retired - living the good life on the fat management fees he negotiated for himself.

His daughters will be has-been Hollywood C-listers with no real job skills, no careers, and just enough money to remove any motivation to do something more meaningful with their lives.

Most likely an increasingly empty life of ritual partying, a string of failed relationships and a sick feeling inside when they are no longer invited to events that people used to beg them to go to.

7 posted on 09/19/2006 1:47:11 PM PDT by wideawake ("The nation which forgets its defenders will itself be forgotten." - Calvin Coolidge)
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To: shempy

No, he's saying that once they're no longer young and sexy, there won't be much left for them.


8 posted on 09/19/2006 1:48:06 PM PDT by wideawake ("The nation which forgets its defenders will itself be forgotten." - Calvin Coolidge)
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To: LA Woman3
Homer's breasts are already sagging.

I didn't "img src" the proof because it wouldn't pass Admin-Moderator scrutiny!

9 posted on 09/19/2006 2:31:08 PM PDT by Young Werther
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To: LA Woman3

He said it again?


10 posted on 09/20/2006 1:07:17 AM PDT by Jeff Chandler (Peace begins in the womb.)
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