This is an honest question, not meant to be obnoxious, just really wondering. If you "desperately want to stay home with" your children while they're young, why did you have a baby "a couple of years" before you could afford to do that? I just really don't get why people put themselves in this position.
There are some of us who have had to put our kids in school rather than continue homeschooling because a spouse has left the home. As a result, working in the home seems like it would benefit all of us.
Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and preventions you take fail, and all the plans you set change.