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To the poster who thinks we are all "stupid Duke parents", you have not walked in our shoes. If you think this has not been a difficult and trying time, please let me tell just one kid's story.
My daughter is a student athlete at Duke and I can assure you she definitely worked to get there and didn't "cheat" on her SAT. She barely had time to fit the test in between her sport, extra curricular activities, and her studies - didn't even take a prep class and still scored over 1460.
Secondly, if you think we haven't struggled with our decision to send her to Duke, guess again. When she was a senior, she was one of the top athletes in her sport and recruited by at least 100 schools, including all of the Ivy Leagues. She took all five of her official visits and visited at least 8 other schools unofficially during the last couple of years of high school. We felt this was a well thought out decision on her part. She chose Duke because of the strong academic/athletic reputation. She was offered 100% scholarships at every state university she was interested in, and because they don't offer athletic scholarships, only partial academic scholarships from the Ivy League ones. At Duke, we were required to pay her tuition the first year and then she will receive a scholarship for the remaining three. Since she really liked the coach, team, campus, etc. at Duke the most, we thought because she had worked so hard, we didn't want to deny her the opportunity - even though financially the state schools would have been free. We are not a rich family and it has been a hardship for us to come up with 40K even for one year - and we have other children that will be attending college in a few years to consider.
Now jump forward to last March. My daughter loved the school, her team, coach and so forth. After the lax incident, her world suddenly changed. She feared for her safety both on and off campus, her team was harassed whenever they traveled, she began receiving nasty e-mails, IM/s, and posts on her Facebook, professors were critical of the lax players in class, and suddenly an entire athletic dept. was responsible for the lax team holding a Spring Break "stripper" party. In addition, she is friends with many of the younger lax players and absolutely didn't believe they were capable of being involved in any way with a gang rape. She couldn't understand what she considered to be the false portrayal of her friends being spewed by the media and her own professors. During this period, she became depressed, her grades dropped, and she gained weight. By the time she came home in the spring, she announced she didn't want to go back, because she was afraid of feeling like that again in the fall. She described it as not wanting to go to class, see friends, and couldn't make herself care about anything. Believe, this is the opposite of our daughter's normal personality and very much alarmed us.
We contacted schools and all the ones we talked to had already filled their scholarships for the year. It would be at least a year before she could have transferred and even then, she would have to sit out a year. So, it is not as easy to transfer as one would think. After being home for several months and being able to distance herself from the situation, as well as some of the negative publicity dying down, she herself made the decision to return to Duke. She decided she didn't want to run away from the situation. In addition, she feels an obligation to her team and coach, both of which she loves.
So far, this fall, things have been better. Of course, every day I pray this nightmare will end. Don't think all of the "stupid Duke parents" are just sitting on the sidelines. I am disgusted by this administration and have written, called, e-mailed - you name it, to express my outrage. In addition, I have contributed to the defense fund, keep up with each little new detail in the case, contacted the attorney general and the governor. My daughter is involved in getting students registered to vote, which was helped her regain some control and not feel so helpless. The best thing the students can do right now is vote out Nifong. (Get rid of Brodhead, Alleva, and the famous "88" as well.)
Again, if you think we are all stupid, fine, but try walking in our shoes for a few days. It has not been an easy 6 months for any of these kids. Try being 18 years old and losing faith in the judicial system, the media, and your own administration. Talk about growing up in a hurry. Try being a parent, worried that you allowed your daughter to return to a potentially dangerous situation and city - I have lost more sleep over this than anything I can remember. We have not taken any of this lightly and are attempting to handle the situation the best we know how.
My heart goes out to the lax players and their families, particularly of course, Reade, Colin, Dave, and their families. We support you 100% and still are dumbfounded that this case still continues. It is beyond unbelievable that people can be so blatantly falsely accused in this country and that no one intervenes to stop the madness.