Cows With Guns Fat and docile, big and dumb They look so stupid, they aren't much fun Cows aren't fun They eat to grow, grow to die Die to be et at the hamburger fry Cows well done Nobody thunk it, nobody knew No one imagined the great cow guru Cows are one He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal Cow Tse Tongue He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd Cow doldrums He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high Bad cow pun But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate Cows are bummed He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy No one suspected he was packing an Uzi Cows with guns They came with a needle to stick in his thigh He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye Cow well hung Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor Run cows run! He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay We are free roving bovines, we run free today We will fight for bovine freedom And hold our large heads high We will run free with the Buffalo, or die Cows with guns They crashed the gate in a great stampede Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed Cows have fun Sixty police cars were piled in a heap Covered in cow pies, covered up deep Much cow dung Black smoke rising, darkening the day Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way We will fight for bovine freedom And hold our large heads high We will run free with the Buffalo, or die Cows with guns The President said "enough is enough These uppity cattle, its time to get tough" Cow dung flung The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef Cows on buns The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed They mooed their last moos, they chewed their last hay Cows out gunned The order was given to turn cows to whoppers Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers We will fight for bovine freedom And hold our large heads high We will run free with the Buffalo, or die Cows with guns
Banana Splits theme...
http://franklarosa.com/vinyl/AudioPlay.jsp?File=TraLaLa.rm
Shaving CreamBenny Bell lyrics
[Written by Benny Bell]
I have a sad story to tell you
It may hurt your feelings a bit
Last night when I walked into my bathroom
I stepped in a big pile of
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave everyday and you`ll always look keen
I think I`ll break off with my girlfriend
Her antics are queer, I`ll admit
Each time I say, darling, I love you
She tells me that I`m full of
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave everyday and you`ll always look keen
Our baby fell out of the window
You`d think that her head would be split
But good luck was with her that morning
She fell in a barrel of
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave everyday and you`ll always look keen
An old lady died in a bathtub
She died from a terrible fit
In order to fulfill her wishes
She was buried in six feet of
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave everyday and you`ll always look keen
When I was in France with the army
One day I looked into my kit
I thought I would find me a sandwich
But the darn thing was loaded with
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave everyday and you`ll always look keen
And now, folks, my story is ended
I think it is time I should quit
If any of you feel offended
Stick your head in a barrel of
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave everyday and you`ll always look keen
No singing, please.
In the days of yore, a knight was on his way to do something terribly important, riding his horse into the ground to get to his destination as fast as possible.
After being ridden too hard for too long, his horse became lame, and seeing a small town ahead he headed straight for the stables there.
"I must have a horse!" he cried "The life of the King depends upon it!"
The stablekeeper shook his head. "I have no horses," he said. "They have all been taken in the service of your King."
"You must have something - a pony, a donkey, a mule, anything at all?" the knight asked.
"Nothing..... unless.... no, I couldn't"
The knight's eyes lit up. "Tell me!"
The stablekeeper leads the knight into the stable. Inside is a dog, but no ordinary dog. This dog is a giant, almost as large as the horse the knight was riding. But it is also the filthiest, shaggiest, smelliest, mangiest dog that the knight has ever seen.
Swallowing, the knight said "I'll take it. Where is the saddle?"
The stablekeeper walked over to a saddle near the dog and started gasping for breath, holding the walls to keep himself upright. "I can't do it." he told the knight.
"You must give me the dog!" cried the knight. "Why can't you?"
The stablekeeper said "I just couldn't send a knight out on a dog like this."
Narrator: "Now it's time for silly songs with Larry.
The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song.
Our curtain opens as Larry, having just finished his morning
bath, is searching for his hairbrush. Having no success, Larry cries out..."
Larry: "Oh, where is my hairbrush? Oh where is my hairbrush? Oh, where,
oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh,
where oh, where ... is my hairbrush?"
Narrator: "Having heard his cry, Pa Grape enters the scene. Shocked and
slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel, Pa regains his
composure and reports ..."
Pa: "I think I saw a hairbrush back there!"
Larry: "Back there is my hairbrush. Back there is my hairbrush. Back
there, back there, oh, where, back there, oh, where, oh, where, back
there, back there, back there ... is my hairbrush!"
Narrator: "Having heard his joyous proclamation, Junior Asparagus enters
the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a
towel, Junior regains his composure and comments ..."
Junior: "Why do you need a hairbrush? You don't have any hair!"
Narrator: "Larry is taken aback. The thought had never occured to him.
No hair? What would this mean? What will become of him? What will become
of his hairbrush? Larry wonders ..."
Larry: "No hair for my hairbrush. No hair for my hairbrush. No hair, no
hair, no where, no hair, no hair, no hair, no where, back there, no hair
.. for my hairbrush!"
Narrator: "Having heard his wonderings, Bob the Tomato enters the scene.
Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel, Bob
regains his composure and confesses ..."
Bob: "Larry, that old hairbrush of yours ... Well, you never use it, you
don't really need it. So, well, I'm sorry ... I didn't know. But I gave
it to the Peach - 'cause he's got hair!"
Narrator: "Feeling a deep sense of loss, Larry stumbles back and laments..."
Larry: "Not fair for my hairbrush. Not fair! My poor hairbrush. Not
fair, not fair, no hair, not fair, no where, no hair, not fair, not
fair, not fair! My little hairbrush!"
Narrator: "Having heard his lament, the Peach enters the scene. Himself
in a towel, both Larry and the Peach are shocked and slightly
embarrassed at the sight of...each other. But recognizing Larry's
generosity, the Peach is thankful ..."
Peach: "Thanks for the hairbrush."
Narrator: "Yes, good has been done here. The Peach exits the scene.
Larry smiles, but, still feeling an emotional attachment for the
hairbrush, calls out ..."
Larry: "Take care of my hairbrush. Take care, oh my hairbrush. Take
care, take care, don't dare not care, take care, nice hair, no fair, take care, take care ... of my hairbrush."
Narrator: "The end!"
Happy Friday sully.
