MY PAL PARIS (Paris Hilton and Lance Armstrong?)

NY Post ^ | 08.31.6 | Paul Froelich

[xsmommy]

i am shocked that you are a sappho fan... ; )

[xsmommy]

i gotta say that i missed out on the paris film but i did see the limp bizkit guy's tape and good GOD i am still rinsing my eyeballs out with hydogen peroxide!

[Heyworth]

According to the rumors, Paris knows her way around a basket of toys.

[TheBigB]

i gotta say that i missed out on the paris film

Poor lighting, bad cinematography.

[xsmommy]

gripping plotline though, i guess?

[TheBigB]

The ending sucked.

Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week! :)

[nmh]

That's one lost soul if I ever saw one.

Attention is the only thing she lives for. The attention she craves is for all the wrong reasons. She is everything you wouldn't want your daughter to be. What a sad way to squander your youth. Wonder what she'll do when she's old and thinking when she draws her last breath.

[HairOfTheDog]

Bless her heart, poor dear forgot to get dressed before she left the house. :~)

[MotleyGirl70]

Spot on.

[xsmommy]

i wonder if this is like one of the nightmares that we all have about leaving the house undressed, or not having studied for the test, registered for the course, etc. ; )

[TheBigB]

I swear, I have had a recurring nightmare where I'm back in college, and I decide to skip a class one day, then I skip it again. Then again. Pretty soon I FORGET that I'm even enrolled in it and only remember like the day of the final exam. :-)

[TexasCajun]

Off to the porn set it looks like...

[xsmommy]

oh i have very similar ones, where i am back in college and the semester is almost over and i have never even bought the books, never even gone to the class. it is a horrible feeling. amazing that it can strike fear this long after the fact!

[Xenalyte]

Jimmy Fallon: Thanks for coming on.

Paris Hilton: Nice to be here.

JF: So, we agreed, we won't be discussing the scandal that's been in the papers the past couple weeks.

PH: I appreciate that.

JF: We want to find about you, Paris Hilton. Your family...the Hiltons own hotels all around the world.

PH: Yes, in New York, London, Paris.

JF: Wait, there actually is a Paris Hilton?

PH: Yes, there is.

JF: Is it hard to get into the Paris Hilton?

PH: Actually, it's a very exclusive hotel, no matter what you've heard.

JF: I hear the Paris Hilton is very beautiful.

PH: I'm glad that you've heard that.

JF: Is there double occupancy at the Paris Hilton?

PH: No.

JF: Is the Paris Hilton very roomy?

PH: It might be for you. But most people find it very comfortable.

JF: I'm a VIP, I might need to go through the back entrance.

PH: Doesn't matter who are you – it's not going to happen.

JF: Fair enough, okay. I throw a lot of events. Do they have ballrooms there?

PH: We do.

JF: Great, I'd love to have my balls held by the Paris Hilton. Sounds awesome. I'd like to check into the Paris Hilton.

PH: I don't think you can.

JF: Really? I'd only be able to stay there a minute and a half...two minutes, tops.

PH: Good luck.

JF: Paris Hilton!

[TexasCajun]

[Xenalyte]

Paris looks a little Chinese-eyed in that shot. (Maybe she gets her Chinesium from K-Fed.)

[Xenalyte]

Apparently Mama Hilton forgot to include the instruction about how underwear is to be worn UNDER something, hence the name.

[Charles Henrickson]

Jimmy Walker has fallen on hard times.

[Xenalyte]

Ah, but have you seen Tommy Lee's impressive, um, home movies?

[HairOfTheDog]

i wonder if this is like one of the nightmares that we all have about leaving the house undressed,

It happened to me once, and I made it to school!

Not totally undressed, but I did forget to wear a shirt. I was getting dressed for school, and the doorbell rang, so I grabbed my coat and zipped it up and opened the door, it was my friend who walked to the bus stop with me. Well, I finished my hair and picked up my things and just went to school like that. Of course, it wasn't till I sat down at my desk and started to take off my coat that I realized I had no shirt on :~)

Teacher kept asking if I was hot, did I want to take my coat off? "No - I'm fine!" I would turn red and say :~D