Confucius Say More:
"Panties not best thing on earth. . . but next to it."
"War doesn't determine who's right . . . War determines who's left."
"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse."
"Man who sleep in cathouse by day . . . sleep in doghouse by night."
"Man who fight with wife all day . . . get no piece at night!"
"Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!"
"It takes many nails to build crib . . . but one screw to fill it."
"Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!"
"Man who sit on tack get point!"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
"Man who lives in glass house should change in basement"
"He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."
"Man who farts in church sits in own pew."
"Man who jumps from tall building, jumps to conclusion."
"Crowded elevator smells different to midget".
"Blonde who fly upside down leave crack in air"
Q: What kind of engine do they use in golf carts?
A: Fore cyclinder.
Q: What do you call the drivers in an Egyptian traffic jam?
A: Tootin-car-men.
I looked up synonyms for "diet" in my thesaurus, and found myself at words for a loss
I saw a dermatologist about a nasty red patch on my skin. I asked it would get better, but he said he didn't want to make any rash promises.