Some helpful hints for your Friday night!
You May Be Drunk if:
# The bouncer suddenly looks really hot.
# You have trouble speaking clearly. "Hi" comes out as "Wanna shag?"
# You can't decide which steering wheel to use.
# Your wallet has only $5 left in it, all in 10 cent pieces.
# The Hell's Angel in the corner suddenly looks like a wimp.
# You're dying for a Big Mac, even though you're a vegan.
# Your feet are sore from dancing, and the trivia night is only half way through.
# Your mouth feels all furry because you've just drunk the ash tray.
# You can't remember where you parked your car.
# You can't remember what sort of car you own.
# You can't remember what a car looks like.
# You catch yourself singing karaoke, and enjoying it.
# You just spent an hour chatting up a cigarette machine.
# You consider urinating in the wash basin, rather than waiting in the queue.
# You urinate in the wash basin rather than waiting in the queue.
# You urinate in the queue.
# It's taken you an hour of yelling, a thrown drink and a knife fight to realise that you and your friend have been in total agreement all along.