Posted on 08/21/2006 7:26:19 AM PDT by presidio9
This story sounds fishy to me.
One has to wonder what the real porpoise of this study was.
Hard-luck Harry finally got a job. Didn’t pay much, but he thought it would be rewarding –- feeding the animals for a traveling circus. After a few days, something went wrong with the refrigeration units, and all the fish for the seals and dolphins spoiled. No suppliers in the area had enough fish to feed all his marine animals, so he called the local veterinarian for some suggestions on alternate foods.
He hadn’t fed the dolphins for nearly 72 hours, so the doc told him to give them anything with a high protein and fat content. The only thing he could find that wasn’t too expensive was a few dozen seagulls the local sheriff had killed to reduce their population. The other animals had already eaten everything else.
When he got back , he discovered that the dolphins had gone crazy, sexually attacking everything in the pens they could get at –- seals, penguins, keepers –- so the owner had quarantined them in a special area between the lions and the elephants. He figured they were just acting out because their feeding routine was interrupted. But the only way to get to their pen was through either the lion cage or the elephant compound.
He’d been having trouble with the elephants lately, so he asked the lion trainer to help him get through to the dolphin tank. The trainer gave him a small clay pot with some mashed stuff that looked like grass, told him to light it and set it upwind from the lions, and wait for 15 minutes. The smoke would affect them like catnip, mellowing them out so they wouldn’t even notice if he stepped on their tails on his way through the cage.
Cautiously, he opened the lion cage and carried a dozen birds through the cage after the big cats all stretched out and yawned themselves to sleep from the effects of the smoke. Harry opened the other door and stepped onto the decking around the tank where he saw the dolphins acting very strangely, rubbing their bodies against each other and indiscriminately trying to mate with both males and females and valves and drains and anything else they could find. He threw each of them two birds, watched them devour the flesh, feathers and all, and went back through the lion cage.
As he snapped the lock on the cage door and stepped down, two US Marshals pinned him against the bars, handcuffed him, and told him he was under arrest.
“Under arrest? What for?” Harry asked, dumbfounded.
“What for? Why, it’s violation of the Mann Act -- ought to be clear to you , you bein’ with a traveling circus and all –- transporting gulls across staid lions for immoral porpoises!”
(don't hit me, Spirit of Allegiance! I don't do this very dolphin.)
Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. How shellfish of me. I was floundering around when our son called to tell me about his job and his sole employer.
As for this article, I think it was a whale-written report, but Flipper could probably blow-holes in this guy's theory and would more than likely call it a whale of a tail. I don't know if this report will be considered ofishal. What aspout you?
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