Posted on 08/14/2006 3:36:36 PM PDT by pissant
Blame it on our vivid imaginations and mediocre surroundings, but every time we fly, we check out the stewardesses. Yes, were using that word; like eating a big slab of steak or smoking in public, casually using the word stewardess is frowned upon in some circles. I want to make it clear: I am approaching this topic from a glandular perspective -- a perspective that doesnt play nice with political correctness. Each time we board, we hope to fly with stewardesses as hot as those in the movie Airplane! (1980), Pam Grier in Jackie Brown (1997) and Catherine Zeta-Jones in The Terminal (2004).
Airlines may not be able to blatantly hire based on sex appeal anymore, but I sense that its still considered to a degree -- somewhere between the lines of height and weight appropriate, professional appearance and pleasant personality. The Player gave you pearls when he taught you How to Score a Stewardess; now that you know how, you need to know where. Here are 10 airlines with fly girls wholl get more than your tray table in the upright position.
Number 10--Air France
You probably wouldnt expect a French airline to outfit their stewardesses in frumpy uniforms, and youd be right. Air France reportedly dropped about $23 million for Christian Lacroix to design a fresh look for their 36,000 employees in 2005. The navy blue uniforms definitely work for me -- they nicely accentuate the stewardesses shapely curves. Im convinced that U.S./French relations would improve if the American detractors flew a jaunt on Air France.
What makes them especially hot: They could very well follow the French ideal of passion over happiness.
Number 9--Air New Zealand
For would-be stewardesses, Air New Zealand states, vitality, resourcefulness, enthusiasm and flexibility are attributes we search for in candidates. Knowing theyre required to be able to swim the length of an Olympic-sized pool tells us theyre in shape, too. Finally, the airlines TV ads use actual staff to promote New Zealands rugby teams. The way I see it, stewardesses who love physical sports can only be a bonus.
What makes them especially hot: Durexs 2005 sex survey finds Kiwis even hornier than Americans.
Number 8 -- All Nippon Airlines
ANAs corporate philosophy includes a desire to create attractive surroundings for customers, and Im pleased to confirm their success when it comes to their stewardesses. An extreme example would be the appearance of a bootlegged uniform in a Japanese sex shop: the anticipated selling price was up to $2,650 U.S.. While that may be out of line with the airlines decency standards, it does exemplify how guys lust after their stewardesses.
What makes them especially hot: ANA offers a line of anime-faced dolls wearing uniforms from the past and present -- maybe theyre intended for the kids, maybe not. Either way, it makes the real stewardesses even hotter.
Number 7 -- Cathay Pacific
One way Cathay Pacific marked their 60th anniversary in 2006 was with a fashion show, which highlighted their uniforms of the past and present. Instead of hiring professional models, Cathay opted to showcase their stewardesses on the catwalk -- an inspired choice if I may say. The company may stress service as the top quality to their stewardess candidates, but theres an underlying sense of aesthetics present, too.
What makes them especially hot: Their stewardesses are equally adept at covering runways on a plane and onstage.
Number 6 -- Gulf Air
You might wonder if Gulf Air is the Hooters of the Mideast: They made headlines in 2004 when they reportedly targeted stewardess recruitment to Chinas Sichuan province. Their claim was that the regions young women possessed patience with natural affinity. Cultural and aesthetic cultivation were also key traits said to be considered. Even now, the airline asks for a full-length color photo at the formal interview.
What makes them especially hot: Gulf Air offers its Sky Nanny service on select flights, giving you a great excuse to interact with the beauties. Finally, theres a practical reason for traveling with kids.
Number 5 -- Hooters Air Its sadly ironic, but Hooters Air has gone bust. I understand if you need a moment to collect yourself. Two Hooters Girls on every flight was the kind of policy I applauded for obvious reasons. The leather seating, extra legroom and light atmosphere were also appreciated. Unfortunately, after a three-year run, high fuel costs helped to ground Hooters scheduled service in April 2006. For now, private charter is the extent of their operations.
What made them especially hot: In the event of a water landing, they had their own flotation devices.
Number 4 -- Qantas
Dustin Hoffmans Rain Man (1988) may only have been willing to fly Qantas because they never crashed (actually, they have). I suspect the hot hostesses could lure you aboard even if Qantas werent safe. The airlines requirements of an excellent level of health and fitness and natural, genuine, engaging, and confident personalities ensure your continued presence in their seats. Trans-Pacific flights are tough enough to endure without sub-par stewardesses. Qantas seems to understand this and staffs their routes accordingly. A word of advice: calling them sheilas is not endearing, and wont score you any points.
What makes them especially hot: Im fighting the urge to drop a down under reference here, so Ill settle for saying its the accent mate.
Number 3 -- Southwest
There was a time when Southwest clearly wanted to be the sexiest carrier in the air. In the early years after they took to the air in 1971, the stewardess uniform included orange hot pants and white go-go boots. Recruiters plainly asked candidates to wear dresses so their legs could be checked out. We were selling sex, admits current president, Colleen Barrett. Times have changed, and so has the dress code. Southwest stewardesses now display more fabric than skin, but weve seen a lot of them with figures built for the minimalist attire. Given societys love for retro and Southwests laid-back business approach, we can still at least hope for throwback uniforms.
What makes them especially hot: Genuinely great attitudes to go along with their looks.
Number 2 -- Thai Airways International
Thai Airways International has limited North American service, which is really unfortunate: the airline requires its stewardesses to be single, Thai nationals. They are also required to be at least 52 with proportional weight. Suffice it to say, its worth the effort to fly Thai. I suspect unattractive Thai women exist, but I have yet to see any evidence. From the moment youre greeted with the traditional sawasdee, or welcoming gesture, I dare you to take your eyes off these stewardesses. Who needs any other in-flight entertainment?
What makes them especially hot: The fact that theyre required to be educated, too.
Number 1 -- Virgin Atlantic Take Virgin Atlantics progressive approach to business, factor in hot stewardesses and keep in mind the 2005 Durex sex survey that lists the UK as the seventh-busiest nation (four slots ahead of the U.S.), and I like the odds. It couldnt bother me that a hysterical stewardess panicked during turbulence. Virgins red skirts are tailored to show off figures rather well; certainly better than most uniforms weve seen. Most flights on Virgin are long, but it doesnt mean theyre dull.
What makes them especially hot: Combine the name Virgin with hot women
your imagination will take care of the rest.
If they made the plane more comfortable, fewer passengers would fit, and the airline would (potentially) have lower profits.
On the other hand, it doesn't cost any more to pay a pretty young stewardess than a homely middle-aged one ... less, in fact, because their union makes pay based on seniority.
My ex-sister-in-law was a USAir flight attendant, until they cut back after 9-11. You'd have admired her, I think.
Well, yes. I wouldn't fly to Raleigh, either. But for significant distances, it's appreciably faster even with the delay in the airport.
It seems that most American air carriers have gone to "sky hags" (yep, that's what the younger stews call 'em; I didn't come up with that one) pretty much across the board. I find it annoying. I clearly remember the days when "stewardess" was a legitimate synonym for "nubile and hot". Now......it's just as likely to be some chunky punkin' who reminds you either of your annoying aunt or that loud-mouthed third grade teacher you had who had never been out on a date in her life.
I know this is a "fun" thread but I've gotta say my piece.... Yeah well, after 9/11 my passengers looked pretty dang relieved to see a 200lb dude greeting them at the door. I can tell you, for the month of flying I did before I was furloughed I didn't see any more finger snapping, "oh waitress" crap. The little girls on my crews looked to me to organize and lead in the cabin. Funny how when people feel threatened they look to the biggest meanest looking sumbitch in the place for assistance.
The job used to come with such progressive policies as "get pregnant, get fired" "get married, get fired" and "get old, get fired" The public demanded low fares and the pay rate got too low to attract people that would put up with that.
As long as they don't "flame", we can pretend. :-)
FA's (stewardessi) make more than you think. A ten year plus veteran can bring in $75K or more a year if they hustle (i.e. work a lot). ...more than a lot of mid-level managers I know. And don't forget the per diem and travel beni's.
Can you imagine a bull-dyke stewardess? How about a cross-dresser? And, the requisite number of limp-wrists in tights?
Oh....the humanity.
I would have to say the best I have ever witnessed is from Singapore Airlines.
Where is Singapore Air???????
In addition to being consistently rated amoung the best airlines, it does have the prettiest stewardesses in the most attractive uniforms.
Ta Da!
See my #31.
Watching a crew of SA women approaching the gate is like watching some sort of beauty show.
As a flight attendant, I actually DO know what I'm talking about. The females that want families are not able to work the kind of trips that yield max cash. Those that want to stay in the air become the "sky-hags" previous posters complained about. At TWA we called them "senior mommas" Some were horrible to work with, others a joy.
I was thinking the same thing re: Singapore, never flew on the airline but.. if the ads are any indication..
Eastern didn't make it either, course they probably wouldn't anyway, but I sure appreciated the mimosas the stews kept passing out on those early bird flights. ;-)
Already there. If you fly out of Miami on AA, just look around you. Miami is to FA's what SFO is to the rest of the world.
Needless to say, I made sure I didn't fly United to Asia ever again.
I wouldn't want to eat ANYTHING handled by one of THOSE Rainbow flight attendants....
I can't argue with Singapore....Those I saw/met on layovers were spectacular. Virgin still wins if you don't find the "lowered eyes, submissive" type particularly attractive.
How did I know this would be YOUR thread?!
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