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Top 10: Hot Stewardess Airlines
Askmen ^ | Terry Baldwin

Posted on 08/14/2006 3:36:36 PM PDT by pissant

Blame it on our vivid imaginations and mediocre surroundings, but every time we fly, we check out the stewardesses. Yes, we’re using that word; like eating a big slab of steak or smoking in public, casually using the word stewardess is frowned upon in some circles. I want to make it clear: I am approaching this topic from a glandular perspective -- a perspective that doesn’t play nice with political correctness. Each time we board, we hope to fly with stewardesses as hot as those in the movie Airplane! (1980), Pam Grier in Jackie Brown (1997) and Catherine Zeta-Jones in The Terminal (2004).

Airlines may not be able to blatantly hire based on sex appeal anymore, but I sense that it’s still considered to a degree -- somewhere between the lines of “height and weight appropriate,” “professional appearance” and “pleasant personality.” The Player gave you pearls when he taught you How to Score a Stewardess; now that you know how, you need to know where. Here are 10 airlines with fly girls who’ll get more than your tray table in the upright position.

Number 10--Air France

You probably wouldn’t expect a French airline to outfit their stewardesses in frumpy uniforms, and you’d be right. Air France reportedly dropped about $23 million for Christian Lacroix to design a fresh look for their 36,000 employees in 2005. The navy blue uniforms definitely work for me -- they nicely accentuate the stewardesses’ shapely curves. I’m convinced that U.S./French relations would improve if the American detractors flew a jaunt on Air France.

What makes them especially hot: They could very well follow the French ideal of passion over happiness.

Number 9--Air New Zealand

For would-be stewardesses, Air New Zealand states, “vitality, resourcefulness, enthusiasm and flexibility are… attributes we search for in candidates.” Knowing they’re required to be able to swim the length of an Olympic-sized pool tells us they’re in shape, too. Finally, the airline’s TV ads use actual staff to promote New Zealand’s rugby teams. The way I see it, stewardesses who love physical sports can only be a bonus.

What makes them especially hot: Durex’s 2005 sex survey finds Kiwis even hornier than Americans.

Number 8 -- All Nippon Airlines

ANA’s corporate philosophy includes a desire to “create attractive surroundings for customers,” and I’m pleased to confirm their success when it comes to their stewardesses. An extreme example would be the appearance of a bootlegged uniform in a Japanese sex shop: the anticipated selling price was up to $2,650 U.S.. While that may be out of line with the airline’s decency standards, it does exemplify how guys lust after their stewardesses.

What makes them especially hot: ANA offers a line of anime-faced dolls wearing uniforms from the past and present -- maybe they’re intended for the kids, maybe not. Either way, it makes the real stewardesses even hotter.

Number 7 -- Cathay Pacific

One way Cathay Pacific marked their 60th anniversary in 2006 was with a fashion show, which highlighted their uniforms of the past and present. Instead of hiring professional models, Cathay opted to showcase their stewardesses on the catwalk -- an inspired choice if I may say. The company may stress service as the top quality to their stewardess candidates, but there’s an underlying sense of aesthetics present, too.

What makes them especially hot: Their stewardesses are equally adept at covering runways on a plane and onstage.

Number 6 -- Gulf Air

You might wonder if Gulf Air is the Hooters of the Mideast: They made headlines in 2004 when they reportedly targeted stewardess recruitment to China’s Sichuan province. Their claim was that the region’s young women possessed “patience with natural affinity.” “Cultural and aesthetic cultivation” were also key traits said to be considered. Even now, the airline asks for a full-length color photo at the formal interview.

What makes them especially hot: Gulf Air offers its Sky Nanny service on select flights, giving you a great excuse to interact with the beauties. Finally, there’s a practical reason for traveling with kids.

Number 5 -- Hooters Air It’s sadly ironic, but Hooters Air has gone bust. I understand if you need a moment to collect yourself. Two Hooters Girls on every flight was the kind of policy I applauded for obvious reasons. The leather seating, extra legroom and light atmosphere were also appreciated. Unfortunately, after a three-year run, high fuel costs helped to ground Hooters’ scheduled service in April 2006. For now, private charter is the extent of their operations.

What made them especially hot: In the event of a water landing, they had their own flotation devices.

Number 4 -- Qantas

Dustin Hoffman’s Rain Man (1988) may only have been willing to fly Qantas because they “never crashed” (actually, they have). I suspect the hot hostesses could lure you aboard even if Qantas weren’t safe. The airline’s requirements of an “excellent level of health and fitness” and “natural, genuine, engaging, and confident personalities” ensure your continued presence in their seats. Trans-Pacific flights are tough enough to endure without sub-par stewardesses. Qantas seems to understand this and staffs their routes accordingly. A word of advice: calling them sheilas is not endearing, and won’t score you any points.

What makes them especially hot: I’m fighting the urge to drop a “down under” reference here, so I’ll settle for saying it’s the accent mate.

Number 3 -- Southwest

There was a time when Southwest clearly wanted to be the sexiest carrier in the air. In the early years after they took to the air in 1971, the stewardess uniform included orange hot pants and white go-go boots. Recruiters plainly asked candidates to wear dresses so their legs could be checked out. “We were selling sex,” admits current president, Colleen Barrett. Times have changed, and so has the dress code. Southwest stewardesses now display more fabric than skin, but we’ve seen a lot of them with figures built for the minimalist attire. Given society’s love for retro and Southwest’s laid-back business approach, we can still at least hope for throwback uniforms.

What makes them especially hot: Genuinely great attitudes to go along with their looks.

Number 2 -- Thai Airways International

Thai Airways International has limited North American service, which is really unfortunate: the airline requires its stewardesses to be single, Thai nationals. They are also required to be at least 5’2” with proportional weight. Suffice it to say, it’s worth the effort to fly Thai. I suspect unattractive Thai women exist, but I have yet to see any evidence. From the moment you’re greeted with the traditional sawasdee, or welcoming gesture, I dare you to take your eyes off these stewardesses. Who needs any other in-flight entertainment?

What makes them especially hot: The fact that they’re required to be educated, too.

Number 1 -- Virgin Atlantic Take Virgin Atlantic’s progressive approach to business, factor in hot stewardesses and keep in mind the 2005 Durex sex survey that lists the UK as the seventh-busiest nation (four slots ahead of the U.S.), and I like the odds. It couldn’t bother me that a hysterical stewardess panicked during turbulence. Virgin’s red skirts are tailored to show off figures rather well; certainly better than most uniforms we’ve seen. Most flights on Virgin are long, but it doesn’t mean they’re dull.

What makes them especially hot: Combine the name Virgin with hot women… your imagination will take care of the rest.


TOPICS: Conspiracy
KEYWORDS: zoinks
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To: pissant

If they made the plane more comfortable, fewer passengers would fit, and the airline would (potentially) have lower profits.

On the other hand, it doesn't cost any more to pay a pretty young stewardess than a homely middle-aged one ... less, in fact, because their union makes pay based on seniority.

My ex-sister-in-law was a USAir flight attendant, until they cut back after 9-11. You'd have admired her, I think.


21 posted on 08/14/2006 3:58:53 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I've always wanted to be 40 ... and it's as good as I anticipated!)
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To: Maceman

Well, yes. I wouldn't fly to Raleigh, either. But for significant distances, it's appreciably faster even with the delay in the airport.


22 posted on 08/14/2006 3:59:40 PM PDT by Tax-chick (I've always wanted to be 40 ... and it's as good as I anticipated!)
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To: pissant

It seems that most American air carriers have gone to "sky hags" (yep, that's what the younger stews call 'em; I didn't come up with that one) pretty much across the board. I find it annoying. I clearly remember the days when "stewardess" was a legitimate synonym for "nubile and hot". Now......it's just as likely to be some chunky punkin' who reminds you either of your annoying aunt or that loud-mouthed third grade teacher you had who had never been out on a date in her life.


23 posted on 08/14/2006 4:00:58 PM PDT by RightOnline
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To: pissant

I know this is a "fun" thread but I've gotta say my piece.... Yeah well, after 9/11 my passengers looked pretty dang relieved to see a 200lb dude greeting them at the door. I can tell you, for the month of flying I did before I was furloughed I didn't see any more finger snapping, "oh waitress" crap. The little girls on my crews looked to me to organize and lead in the cabin. Funny how when people feel threatened they look to the biggest meanest looking sumbitch in the place for assistance.


24 posted on 08/14/2006 4:02:44 PM PDT by Uriah_lost (http://www.wingercomics.com/d/20051205.html)
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To: RightOnline

The job used to come with such progressive policies as "get pregnant, get fired" "get married, get fired" and "get old, get fired" The public demanded low fares and the pay rate got too low to attract people that would put up with that.


25 posted on 08/14/2006 4:06:18 PM PDT by Uriah_lost (http://www.wingercomics.com/d/20051205.html)
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To: pissant
I fly so much on on Southwest I can't use all the free tickets I earn. I don't know how they ended up with a #3 ranking while Singapore Airlines wasn't even mentioned. Cathay Pacific, imho, deserves a higher spot.
26 posted on 08/14/2006 4:06:21 PM PDT by Mase
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To: pissant

As long as they don't "flame", we can pretend. :-)


27 posted on 08/14/2006 4:08:11 PM PDT by stands2reason (ANAGRAM for the day: Socialist twaddle == Tact is disallowed)
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To: Uriah_lost

FA's (stewardessi) make more than you think. A ten year plus veteran can bring in $75K or more a year if they hustle (i.e. work a lot). ...more than a lot of mid-level managers I know. And don't forget the per diem and travel beni's.


28 posted on 08/14/2006 4:16:57 PM PDT by downtownconservative (Murtha is truly an EX-Marine...his motto, "nunquam fidelis")
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To: pissant
Stand by.....it will come to pass that "Rainbow Airlines" is started, to embrace (pun intended) "diversity"....

Can you imagine a bull-dyke stewardess? How about a cross-dresser? And, the requisite number of limp-wrists in tights?

Oh....the humanity.

29 posted on 08/14/2006 4:20:29 PM PDT by traditional1
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To: Jet Jaguar

I would have to say the best I have ever witnessed is from Singapore Airlines.


30 posted on 08/14/2006 4:21:56 PM PDT by dc27
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To: pissant

Where is Singapore Air???????

In addition to being consistently rated amoung the best airlines, it does have the prettiest stewardesses in the most attractive uniforms.


31 posted on 08/14/2006 4:21:57 PM PDT by angkor
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To: dc27

Ta Da!

See my #31.

Watching a crew of SA women approaching the gate is like watching some sort of beauty show.


32 posted on 08/14/2006 4:23:57 PM PDT by angkor
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To: downtownconservative

As a flight attendant, I actually DO know what I'm talking about. The females that want families are not able to work the kind of trips that yield max cash. Those that want to stay in the air become the "sky-hags" previous posters complained about. At TWA we called them "senior mommas" Some were horrible to work with, others a joy.


33 posted on 08/14/2006 4:24:45 PM PDT by Uriah_lost (http://www.wingercomics.com/d/20051205.html)
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To: angkor

I was thinking the same thing re: Singapore, never flew on the airline but.. if the ads are any indication..

Eastern didn't make it either, course they probably wouldn't anyway, but I sure appreciated the mimosas the stews kept passing out on those early bird flights. ;-)


34 posted on 08/14/2006 4:25:42 PM PDT by NormsRevenge (Semper Fi ......Help the "Pendleton 8' and families -- http://www.freerepublic.com/~normsrevenge/)
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To: traditional1

Already there. If you fly out of Miami on AA, just look around you. Miami is to FA's what SFO is to the rest of the world.


35 posted on 08/14/2006 4:26:52 PM PDT by Uriah_lost (http://www.wingercomics.com/d/20051205.html)
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To: angkor
I was in customs at SFO when the flight crew for a Singapore Airlines flight walked past. I was awestruck, mesmerized, and unable to form a coherent thought. Every single one was amazing.

Needless to say, I made sure I didn't fly United to Asia ever again.

36 posted on 08/14/2006 4:27:51 PM PDT by dc27
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To: Uriah_lost
I'd rather fly with the "Helen Thomas Look-a-like" winners than on Rainbow Airlines, myself.

I wouldn't want to eat ANYTHING handled by one of THOSE Rainbow flight attendants....

37 posted on 08/14/2006 4:29:36 PM PDT by traditional1
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To: angkor
my thoughts as well. Not to mention the food. http://imageevent.com/pguenter/airlineissuessingaporeairlines
38 posted on 08/14/2006 4:29:45 PM PDT by CJ Wolf
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To: NormsRevenge

I can't argue with Singapore....Those I saw/met on layovers were spectacular. Virgin still wins if you don't find the "lowered eyes, submissive" type particularly attractive.


39 posted on 08/14/2006 4:30:17 PM PDT by Uriah_lost (http://www.wingercomics.com/d/20051205.html)
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To: pissant

How did I know this would be YOUR thread?!


40 posted on 08/14/2006 4:31:00 PM PDT by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
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