[Lucky9teen]

In those better days, when you misbehaved, your parents tried to make you feel guilty. Many of today’s parents try to discipline their children without causing guilt, not realizing that the anticipation of guilt is the best preventive of misbehavior, not the anticipation of “negative consequences.” Most people in my generation will testify that knowing you disappointed your parents was the worst consequence of all. But then, we were not on pedestals. The pedestals were occupied by our parents. Needless to say, today’s parents are more concerned about disappointing their kids than their kids are about disappointing them, if they are even concerned at all. It’s that pedestal thing.

I can understand the consequences part of it, but not necessarily the guilt. My mom told me her dad used to tell her to go to her room and he'd be up later to deliver her punishment. Then after several hours he would come up and either ground or spank her. But she always said it was the time in between, not knowing what the punishment was going to be, that was the hardest.

My kids know consequences...all I have to do is make a mere mention of that wooden spoon, and they start behaving. Although sometimes, it's not so easy and I actually have to use it. But still, they know I mean business and it's not all talk.

I think in today's "parenting", there is too much talk, wherein a parent will say again and again, stop that or else, but then does not act and the child knows this, so why should they stop the bad behavior?

[stainlessbanner]

Little less talk and alot more action

[OneWingedShark]

I think in today's "parenting", there is too much talk, wherein a parent will say again and again, stop that or else, but then does not act and the child knows this, so why should they stop the bad behavior?

You have no idea how much I despise that "stop it or else" mentality that some parents have. An empty threat (because they never actually do carry through, until WAAAY past the line) just undermines their own authority... and then they wonder why their "or elses" never have any effect on their kids.

[redlocks322]

Yep, my mother had a wooden paddle about 1/2" thick that had the phrase "Mother's golden rule" painted on it.

Now I use a thick wooden spoon on my boys or just take away things that matter most to them (i.e. video games, phone and TV priveledges)

One other thing about "yesteryear" - kids weren't taught in school that if they got a whippin at home they could call 911 and report abuse. When my kids say they're gonna call for abuse my reply is always "go ahead, I'm ready for a vacation, so please, call, and hurry up about it too." Gets them every time. :-)