Thanks. I appreciate your kind words -- I'm really, truly not trying to lecture or tell "our" story. If the contrasting of the two situations Duke's/ours can help people see more clearly that this isn't just a fluke, then I will have accomplished all I set out to do. To have a foundation established to save others from what we have gone through is like Heaven to me. I wish we'd had it. The three of us in our little boat were bailing like crazy and singing songs through the dark of night to keep from giving up.
After sharing with me, you have all helped me heal. I've shed the first tears I can remember since childhood thanks to those of you on this thread. My upper lip was so stiff, I couldn't laugh anymore and you all have given that back to me. Let's not let the good work started here go away when this is over -- and it will be. I have to go now or I won't be able to see my computer to finish my work today. Closing files at the office - Ugh - I need all the eyesight I can muster. If any one of the staff here ever manages to get the papers in the folders, I'll faint.
(((Hugs))), CG. I'm glad we can help you and others. I read your post to me (the one a couple of days ago), and my bf was just amazed that your words are the same words of discouragement, anger, heartache, and wariness that he, I, and his family feel about what happened to him and to your son.
I was going to pm you and a couple of other people, but I'm going to post this public. My bf's ex wife is a meth addict. When bf's ex wife was released from rehab, she accused him of molesting their girls. The girls were medically assaulted, mentally assaulted, just to try and hang him. Well he's not a child molester, and was actually Mr. Mom because his wife was disappearing for weeks at a time. He watched his kids like a hawk. Therefore they couldn't find what wasn't there. It really messed them up though :(
Now it gets really sick. A 13 yr old girl who thought of the ex wife as a mom(her dad was murdered when she and her sisters were quite young, and mom was a fellow druggie pal of the ex), accused my bf of molesting her. This girl's mother killed herself and another daughter on an apparent drug run. A grandmother took custody of her. The grandmother changed their phone number and ignored subpeonas. No harm, no foul. Are we surprised anymore?
My bf spent 3 weeks in jail, waiting for his family to scrape enough money together to retain a lawyer. The tape of the police interview with the girl had her volunteering that she was a good liar, while she giggled all the way throughout the interview. The judge felt there was enough evidence to go to trial, and that's when the attorney dropped the bomb to plea bargain.
He's on Megan's Law website(along with thousands of other people who are probably innocent). It says penetration by a foreign object. That would be a finger, not a pop bottle or a pool cue. Notice the language they use to make their accusations as ugly as possible. No, he didn't do it. He was genuinely concerned, as she was a friend of his oldest girl, and she was spinning out of control. She spent years being part of the family, while her mom and his ex tweeked. This is the lesson to be learned: Don't feel sorry for damaged children, but instead avoid them like the plague. I've condensed this whole mess, just so people can get the general idea of the railroading he got.
Ex's motivation? She wanted the house. Bf was sick and tired of the nonsense. To get the house, she needed custody of the kids. With her history, she needed something worse than being a drug addict. Voila! Child molester!
I hope someone at your work did their job. There was a time that I enjoyed paperwork, until I took over court appointed conservatorship, then probate for my mom's estate. AAAARGH....