[JamesP81]

Promiscuity at its core is about selfishness. It's an attitude of me me me, and that just doesn't work in a real relationship.

If I truly love someone, then the sexual side of marriage will take care of itself. Loving someone does not mean being physically attracted to them. Love in of itself is an action that someone has to consciously choose to take.

And it can't be done in half-measures; it has to be all or nothing. I've never seriously dated anyone, and I only date for marriage. If I find a lady I think may be the one for me, before I let myself seriously consider marriage, there are some questions I have to ask myself, the main one being would I really love her through sickness and health? If I married her tomorrow, and she was injured the next day, left paralyzed and unable to care for herself, would I be willing to take care of her for the rest of my days? Would I be willing to put in those long hours to take care of her and get no reward for it? Because if I wasn't, then I have no business being her husband. When I can adequately answer those questions, then I will know it is time. This is a perfect picture of Christ's love. As a husband, I have to be able to love her no matter what happens. My love for her and her love for me is based not on what we do, but on what we've chosen. In the same way, Christ did not come and lay His life down for us because of anything we did, but because of who He is and what He chose to do.

How can a person who sleeps with the closest thing he finds ever be sure that he feels that way about a woman? All he does is indulge his fleshly desires and pays no attention to what's truly important.

It's not that I think sex isn't important in the marriage; I consider it essential. But if I truly have the mindset I described, and I truly care for her that way, I have a suspicion that the physical side will be...well taken care of.

I originally didn't intend to deliver a sermon; it just kind of happened. My apologies.

[derllak]

You're wise beyond your years. You're gonna make some lucky woman a great husband someday! It's so great to know there are men out there that feel that way! :)

[wouldntbprudent]

How can a person who sleeps with the closest thing he finds ever be sure that he feels that way about a woman? All he does is indulge his fleshly desires and pays no attention to what's truly important.

Exactly. This is an idea I wish more young people, men and women, would think about. So many are longing with their whole hearts for the day they enter into a satisfying *real* marriage, yet they are in fact undermining their goal by having sexual relations instead of working on having a relationship.

[wouldntbprudent]

No apologies needed. What you said was eloquent, necessary and wise.

May it be shouted from the rooftops.

[wouldntbprudent]

Promiscuity at its core is about selfishness.

And, I would add, promiscuity puts a person at grave risk for developing what I call "emotional impotence."

Paris Hilton once said her boyfriends complain that, while she's "sexy," she's not "sexual." She didn't seem to understand what they were saying.

They were saying there is no "there" there. There's sexual intimacy with no emotional intimacy. There's the appearance of a "sexual experience" waiting to happen, but the sexual experience turns out not to have any soul.

You just can't keep giving yourself away without, well, giving yourself away. Eventually it becomes hard to be touched---in the deeper, emotional sense.