original users' manual, written in Latin.
One might think that it would have been in Greek...
Soon to be seen on the Antiques Rodshow.
Antiques Roadshow Appraiser, Percy Thumbalina: I simply swooned when I saw that pig bladder condom and users' manual. They are SO rare. Only two more are reputed to survive in the world, both in Helen Thomas' purse. I've never seen one before. Where did you get it?
Dork from Visigork:
Vell, it vas passed down in my family, from fadder to son. Ve haf the records in our family bible, going back eleven generations, yah?
Percy: I suppose they were all "only" children?
Dork: Yah. This is the only surviving one of a set of twelve. Originally there was one for each month of the year, but as they broke, they were thrown away and the remaining skins were passed to the new generation. It's in the book.
Percy: A wonderful provenance that makes this item even more valuable. It's in remarkable condition for so much use over the years. I see that it has the original patina.
Dork: Yah, it has never been cleaned. Ve wanted to keep it just as it vas.
Percy: May I touch it. (rolls eyes and kneads the condom in his hands) OOOOHHHH> This is like touching history. Do you have any idea of its value?
Dork: No. I tried to find out once, but couldn't find a market.
Percy: This is really priceless, but in my judgement, at auction on a good Gay Pride day at Disneyland, this could be worth $150,000.
Dork: (dumbfounded)I had no idea. I certainly won't be using it on Tuesday nights any more. Thank you so much.
Percy: Thank you for bringing it.