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Convention-al wisdom divided on moonbats and hacks (Mass.)
Boston Herald ^ | 06/02/06 | Howie Carr

Posted on 06/02/2006 12:54:55 AM PDT by raccoonradio

Top Ten things overheard at tomorrow’s state Democratic convention in beautiful downtown Worcester:

10. “If I vote for Reilly, can he get my OUI broomed too?”

9. “Trav’s taking me with him to Massport.”

8. “Goin’ anywhere special for Bunker Hill Day?”

7. “I ain’t paid for a meal since Gabrieli got in the fight.”

6. “Why didn’t we go to Springfield - they got more strip joints.”

5. “You mean this isn’t the Michael Moore film festival?”

4. “Trav’s taking me with him to the Mass Pike.”

3. “Have you signed the clemency petition to Judge Stearns for Tommy Finneran?”

2. “Watch out - Kujo’s looking for somebody sober to blow into the Breathalyzer on his dashboard.

1 “Voting for Deval will make me feel so much less . . . guilty.”

The weather forecast is for rain tomorrow, which should help Tom “Unfortunately” Reilly and Chris Gabrieli. As for the Deval Patrick delegates - they’d make it to the Centrum in a blizzard. I mean, what else do they have to do? It’s not like they have jobs, or lives.

You know how this whole convention business works. A candidate has to get 15 percent of the votes from the delegates to qualify for the September primary ballot. Winning the convention is quite a predictor - of who’s going to get croaked in the primary. Winners who went on to lose the primary include, among many others, Gerry D’Amico, Frank Bellotti, Lois Pines and Augie Grace, the Deval Patrick of 1994.

The delegates can be broadly divided into two groups - moonbats and hacks. The moonbats, to a man - make that, person - are with Deval. The men all have ponytails and trust funds. The women will have their knitting, and combat boots, while not mandatory, are strongly recommended.

They know Bush stole Ohio, and while they’ve never removed the Kerry-Edwards bumper stickers from their Lexuses, they don’t like Hillary Clinton anymore. Of the 104 Birkenstock-clad kooks at the Brookline Town Meeting who voted to impeach Bush, at least 100 will be voting for Deval.

The hacks - well, you know who they are. Think phony disability pensions and old Middlesex County commissioners. Think Billy Bulger’s old birthday “time” at Anthony’s Pier 4. This year, they’re split between Gabrieli and Reilly, and it’s an open question how many of them care enough to waste even a wet June Saturday in Worcester.

Even if they all show, Deval’s moonbats will outnumber the hacks by a margin of at least 2-1. It isn’t just taxpayers who’ve been fleeing Massachusetts, after all. It’s also the coatholders, and as they retire they (and their monthly kisses in the mail) split for South Carolina and Florida.

Reilly’s got the City Halls and what’s left of the old county gangs behind him. As with Macbeth, those he commands move only in command, nothing in love. How can you like a prosecutor who’s made a career out of looking under every rock, except the one the perp is hiding under? Especially if the perp has money.

For a while, it looked like a fight between Reilly and Deval. But then Reilly kicked Chris Gabrieli down the stairs for a deadbeat from Dorchester, and suddenly the second-richest resident of Louisburg Square (after Mama T) was also running for governor. Chris Gabrieli’s TV spots say he has “new ideas,” plural, but his supporters have just one, and it’s a very old idea. It’s green and has a picture of a dead president on it. Chris’ campaign motto: A fool and his money are soon parted.

One is probably gone tomorrow, maybe two and isn’t there some way they could all not make the ballot? Which is why the statement most likely to be overheard will be in the garages around the Centrum late tomorrow afternoon:

“I can’t believe I wasted my Saturday for this circle-bleep.”

TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: convention; democratic; devalpatrick; governor; howiecarr; kerrylost; massachusetts; moonbats; ohio
Herald articles free online again! of course it's been free for me all along as I subscribe to the Herald.
1 posted on 06/02/2006 12:55:00 AM PDT by raccoonradio
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To: raccoonradio

>>Herald articles

i.e., by columnists

2 posted on 06/02/2006 12:58:11 AM PDT by raccoonradio
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To: raccoonradio

I guess you have to of been there....

3 posted on 06/02/2006 1:03:50 AM PDT by Jaysun (Cold showers turn me on.)
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To: raccoonradio

Thanks for the tip -- I didn't know you could get free access to the columns again.

4 posted on 06/06/2006 7:03:40 AM PDT by Disturbin (Hey Hey, Ho Ho, The Illegals Have to GO)
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