Skip to comments.Convention-al wisdom divided on moonbats and hacks (Mass.)
Posted on 06/02/2006 12:54:55 AM PDT by raccoonradio
Top Ten things overheard at tomorrows state Democratic convention in beautiful downtown Worcester:
10. If I vote for Reilly, can he get my OUI broomed too?
9. Travs taking me with him to Massport.
8. Goin anywhere special for Bunker Hill Day?
7. I aint paid for a meal since Gabrieli got in the fight.
6. Why didnt we go to Springfield - they got more strip joints.
5. You mean this isnt the Michael Moore film festival?
4. Travs taking me with him to the Mass Pike.
3. Have you signed the clemency petition to Judge Stearns for Tommy Finneran?
2. Watch out - Kujos looking for somebody sober to blow into the Breathalyzer on his dashboard.
1 Voting for Deval will make me feel so much less . . . guilty.
The weather forecast is for rain tomorrow, which should help Tom Unfortunately Reilly and Chris Gabrieli. As for the Deval Patrick delegates - theyd make it to the Centrum in a blizzard. I mean, what else do they have to do? Its not like they have jobs, or lives.
You know how this whole convention business works. A candidate has to get 15 percent of the votes from the delegates to qualify for the September primary ballot. Winning the convention is quite a predictor - of whos going to get croaked in the primary. Winners who went on to lose the primary include, among many others, Gerry DAmico, Frank Bellotti, Lois Pines and Augie Grace, the Deval Patrick of 1994.
The delegates can be broadly divided into two groups - moonbats and hacks. The moonbats, to a man - make that, person - are with Deval. The men all have ponytails and trust funds. The women will have their knitting, and combat boots, while not mandatory, are strongly recommended.
They know Bush stole Ohio, and while theyve never removed the Kerry-Edwards bumper stickers from their Lexuses, they dont like Hillary Clinton anymore. Of the 104 Birkenstock-clad kooks at the Brookline Town Meeting who voted to impeach Bush, at least 100 will be voting for Deval.
The hacks - well, you know who they are. Think phony disability pensions and old Middlesex County commissioners. Think Billy Bulgers old birthday time at Anthonys Pier 4. This year, theyre split between Gabrieli and Reilly, and its an open question how many of them care enough to waste even a wet June Saturday in Worcester.
Even if they all show, Devals moonbats will outnumber the hacks by a margin of at least 2-1. It isnt just taxpayers whove been fleeing Massachusetts, after all. Its also the coatholders, and as they retire they (and their monthly kisses in the mail) split for South Carolina and Florida.
Reillys got the City Halls and whats left of the old county gangs behind him. As with Macbeth, those he commands move only in command, nothing in love. How can you like a prosecutor whos made a career out of looking under every rock, except the one the perp is hiding under? Especially if the perp has money.
For a while, it looked like a fight between Reilly and Deval. But then Reilly kicked Chris Gabrieli down the stairs for a deadbeat from Dorchester, and suddenly the second-richest resident of Louisburg Square (after Mama T) was also running for governor. Chris Gabrielis TV spots say he has new ideas, plural, but his supporters have just one, and its a very old idea. Its green and has a picture of a dead president on it. Chris campaign motto: A fool and his money are soon parted.
One is probably gone tomorrow, maybe two and isnt there some way they could all not make the ballot? Which is why the statement most likely to be overheard will be in the garages around the Centrum late tomorrow afternoon:
I cant believe I wasted my Saturday for this circle-bleep.
i.e., by columnists
I guess you have to of been there....
Thanks for the tip -- I didn't know you could get free access to the columns again.
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