I just had a thought reading your post. I remembered something the ex-hubby said about her wanting to dance and he didn't fault her for feeding her children. Wonder if she is not the one who wanted her to dance but him and the night this all happened, she was wanting to back out/not dance. She goes to him (or is with him) to tell him she doesn't want to - again - he beats her and has sex with her to make her submissive. This could account for some of her weird behaviour.
I believe I read a quote saying his ex-wife suggested she get into prostit......er, exotic dancing.
He might be the pimp.