Great Danes, like several other breeds have now been bred for appearance only, and away from their working forbears. I wanted one several years ago, as a guard animal, and the rescue people told me that they were only good as "couch potatoes," and would be completely docile (useless) unless someone steps on their paws.
Who knows what you could get then? The Labrador Retrievers of previous days were intelligent and talented, naturally. The ones I have seen recently, including the one I have been given, are stupid as mud. Nice, though, as far as stupid goes.
Forget about teaching them to type!
Which may be exactly what these dingbats did . . . to their "previously well behaved" chained-to-the-porch huge dog named Brutus. If you buy a huge dog, name it Brutus and keep it chained to a porch, you're begging to be eaten alive.
The Darwin Awards folks should launch a new category of awards, for accessories to the noble act of improving the human gene pool. And give the first one to Brutus, posthumously, alas.