If ANYONE was hooking up with her 28 times a week they'd be a hero. :)
I am reminded of the episode from 'that 70s show' where panties were found in Eric's car that were not Donna's, and Donna was furious until her mother came in and said, 'those are my panties.'
Fez and Kelso locked arms, knelt on the floor, and repeatedly bowed, chanting: "You are a God!"